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6 Oct

Why You Should Take a Break From Dating Online to Find Love

This could go on forever, and eventually, you’ll get burnt out. It is healthy to take a break from dating online every once in a while.

As someone who was dating online on and off for about six years, I can tell you from personal experience, it leads to dating burnout. It can make you bitter, frustrated, and even withdrawn. Sometimes a break from online dating is the reset you need.

Dating, yes even online, should be fun. It should be a new experience that you enjoy. If you are swiping through apps and reluctantly meeting people just so you seem like you’re making an effort, you won’t be getting anything out of your experiences.

Dating online is exhaustively draining. Putting in effort only to be ghosted or catfished feels like a waste of time. Continuing on with the same methods will only get you the same results. Taking a break from dating online can help you reevaluate what you want and head back into dating with a different mindset.

Do you need a break from dating online?

Online dating is a scary thing. Even though it is pretty normalized, it still seems like a last resort.

It usually isn’t something we brag about but instead complain about. Even with the apps and websites having their flaws, dating online should be enjoyable. Meeting someone new and looking for that chemistry should spark joy.

If you’ve been dating online for a while and feel more emotionally exhausted than excited, it is probably time to step back and reassess your methods. I can’t even count the number of times I deleted dating apps off my phone and then added them back a few months later. It sounds inconsistent and maybe a little silly, but with each break I took, I realized something.

Dating online just wasn’t working for me. I was getting frustrated. I felt like I was wasting my time and would get my hopes up only to be let down. Or I would just lack a connection with everyone I talked to.

It consistently felt like it just wasn’t for me. I went with that excuse for a long time, yet I continued doing it because there aren’t many other options. If those feelings sound familiar to you, it is probably time to take a break from dating online. I’m not saying it needs to be permanent, but taking a few weekends away from swiping until you actually run out of people to swipe on is a healthy choice.

If you aren’t getting what you want out of dating online, you could be using the wrong app for you, you could be in the wrong headspace, or it just isn’t the right time.

But no matter the reason, continuing on with something that isn’t making you happy, but is instead draining, you will only make that all worse. Take a break from dating online!

Why you should take a break from dating online

Now, taking a break from dating online isn’t quite as simple as deleting the app. That is where it starts, but if you are planning to try it again in the future, you know why you’re taking this break. You need to do the work on yourself to get something out if this break. That way, when you go back into the world of online dating, you have a clearer mind.

I know how hard it can be to hit that delete button. You don’t want to miss out on someone that could have downloaded the zoo right when you left it. You don’t want to seem like you’re avoiding dating or that you’re not trying.

The thing is, there is nothing wrong with being single. Whether you want a relationship eventually or not, singleness isn’t a curse or a disease.

Being single and not dating or trying to date is perfectly normal and healthy. Just because you’re taking a break from dating online doesn’t mean you have given up. All it means is that you are putting your emotional and mental well-being above trying to find a partner. And that is healthy. Your mental health should always come first.

If you get into a relationship with someone you met while dating online and don’t have the emotional capacity for it, it could become wildly dysfunctional. I’ve been there. As mentioned, I was on and off dating apps for about six years. I only met a handful of people during that time. But each time I did, I took a break for months afterwards because I realized something wasn’t working.

Sure, the app wasn’t perfect but my mindset was pretty unhealthy. At first, I only wanted a relationship. I wasn’t interested in a maybe. I wanted a first date to be perfect and lead to more. So, I had this expectation that if I went through with the nerves of meeting someone, it needed to work out. What did that lead to? A lot of ghosting and let downs.

From there I took a break. I learned to be less picky. I met people earlier too. Before, I waited weeks to meet, but instead went with days. This reduced the build-up of expectations.

But from there I realized I was just dating to date. I really wasn’t too eager about the guys I was meeting. There was nothing wrong with them, but I wasn’t excited. I felt like I was going through the motions.

This again led me to take a break. I knew if I wasn’t excited about dating in general, I wasn’t going to be excited about anyone.

This time I took a year-long break from dating. I worked on my own mental health. I thought about how I always had expectations of dating and how that was sabotaging me. If I wanted to have a relationship at any point, I needed to experience each date for what it was. I must look at it as a new experience. I needed to level my expectations.

Going into a new date, I couldn’t anticipate being ghosted or meeting Mr. Right. I needed to just let it be. A year is what I needed to be able to get my mind into that place.

You may need a few weeks or months or even longer. All of us have our own experiences to grapple with. We should figure out what we want and what we need to do to get there. And doing that while dating, especially online, is nearly impossible.

Once I took that break I downloaded one dating app and gave it a go. I tried to build an interest with someone but only enough to meet them within a week. I chatted with a few people without any results.

Then I started talking to someone that it clicked with. I didn’t get my hopes up, but I had hope. And we met. And we’ve now been together for over a year.

If I hadn’t taken a break from dating online, I don’t know if I would have been prepared or open enough to meet and date my boyfriend.

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