No one wants to be cheated on. But sometimes, you can’t help but let the fear creep into your mind. Do you wonder if your husband is cheating on you?
It is a terrible feeling to suspect that your husband is being unfaithful. Perhaps he has started working late, is being distant, and has grown less affectionate. Perhaps you found something incriminating on his phone or computer, or perhaps you just have that horrible gut feeling in your stomach that something doesn’t feel quite right.
Whatever your reasons are for suspecting your husband of straying, it is best not to jump to conclusions. Unfortunately, a woman’s instinct is usually right, but here are signs to look out for that help you decide what your next move will be.
Is he being unfaithful? Signs your husband is cheating on you
The last thing you want to do is jump in, accusing your husband of something pretty serious—particularly if he was being sneaky because he was planning an amazing surprise for you. Believe us—it’s happened!
Similarly, you don’t want to go on for years in a relationship with a man who thinks it’s okay to break your vows, and who takes you for a fool. Check out these 30 signs to look out for to decide whether your husband is being unfaithful.
#1 He starts hitting the gym. Or takes up running, or swimming or any other exercise just out of the blue. Sure, it is nice for your man to take care of himself, but unless it’s something you have been really pushing for, or something you have decided to do together, it’s time to get a bit suspicious. If your formerly-slovenly hubby suddenly starts pumping those weights like there is no tomorrow, it is probably time to ask, “Who is he doing this for?”
#2 He keeps you away from his work colleagues. Okay, so some people don’t like to mix work and pleasure, but it’s been three years, and you’ve still not met any of his work colleagues, despite the fact that he goes out with them all the time. A little strange, no?
It may be that he wants to keep you away to enjoy the casual flirting relationship he’s got going on with a girl at the office… or it may be something even worse.
#3 He starts getting moody and angry with you. If you see a sudden change in your husband’s character, it might be time to question why. Anger and snappiness can be a sign that he’s feeling guilty, or he can’t express his emotions properly, so he’s taking it out on you. [Check out: Cheating in a relationship and what you need to know about it]
#4 He avoids being alone with you. If your husband suddenly starts finding any excuse not to spend time alone with you, this is a sign he may be cheating. It is not only a sign that he might have given up on your relationship, but also that he is scared if he talks alone with you too much, he might slip up.
#5 He doesn‘t touch you anymore. Remember when you first got together? You were all over each other, right? If the affection has completely dried up, it might be time to take a long, hard look at your relationship. Healthy, intimate relationships involve holding hands, cuddling up on the sofa together, sly glances and casual embraces. If he has stopped doing these things, it may be because he is getting this elsewhere.
#6 He doesn‘t do anything thoughtful. Did he used to buy you flowers every week, or write you love letters when he went on business trips? If he used to be the kind and caring sort, and now he isn’t, it is time to ask, “What has changed?” He may have turned his affections elsewhere.
#7 He can‘t look you in the eye. Lack of eye contact is a surefire sign that he is hiding something from you.
#8 He gets selfish. If he suddenly puts his interests before you and your family, it strongly suggests that he is not interested in the relationship anymore, and is perhaps being unfaithful. [Try: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner]
#9 He no longer talks about the future. A faithful husband will be excited about what the future holds for the pair of you. However, a cheating husband already knows that the relationship is doomed.
#10 He keeps secrets. He used to share everything with you, right? Now he is keeping much more to himself, being vague, and not engaging you in conversation. You ask how his day was, and you get nothing back. If he starts keeping himself to himself, it could suggest he is hiding something far bigger from you.
#11 He has to travel a lot. So, there are some jobs which require a man to be on the road more than others, but if your husband’s travel suddenly increases—a lot—and he never asks you to go with him, perhaps it is because he is asking someone else.
#12 He suddenly gets busier. He’s been in the same job for 10 years and suddenly his workload increases twofold, evenings are spent in the office, and he gets home, tired, grumpy and late. Unless he has a seriously good reason, it would suggest he is not that keen to spend time with you, and is perhaps spending it with another woman. [Check out: Why do men cheat? – 3 big reasons and 27 more!]
#13 He needs more “me“ time. Used to spend your weekends planning fun things to do together? Has that all changed? If he suddenly wants more time to himself and would rather be alone than with you, it’s a surefire sign that something is up.
#14 He gets new hobbies. He used to be content watching TV in the evening, but now he’s taking up all sorts of new classes and hobbies… which get him out of the house, and out of your eyesight. Mid-life crisis? Maybe. But it could well involve a new woman on the scene, too.
#15 You don‘t have sex. Physical intimacy is an important part of marriage. While it is common for people in long-term relationships to have less sex than when they first started dating, if your sex life is essentially dead, and even when you make an effort, he’s not interested, this is probably because he is getting it elsewhere.
#16 He‘s different in the bedroom. Another sign that your husband is cheating is that his sexual appetites have changed. Where is he learning those new moves?
#17 He deletes his text messages. His phone is flashing all the time, but when you take a look, there are no new messages. This is a hugely suspicious sign. No one deletes their messages… unless there are messages they don’t want to be seen.
#18 He takes phone calls in private. If his phone rings and he leaps off to go speak in hushed tones in another room, he may be talking to another woman. If you ask, “Who was that?” and get an, “Oh, nobody” response, be very suspicious.
#19 He gets a second phone. Either he’s cheating, or he’s become a dealer—which is more likely?!
#20 He sets up a second personal email address. So, it is fine to have more than one email address, but it’s weird if he has recently set up a new one. To what end? Having more than one personal email account just makes things harder to keep track of, unless he has set it up specifically to communicate with another woman, of course.
#21 He smells different. Everyone has a smell, whether good or bad, and if you are married, you know what your husband usually smells like. Has it changed? A hint of perfume that is not yours, a soap that isn’t one you have in your house, or even a different cologne is a tell-tale sign that your husband is potentially doing something untoward.
#22 He is no longer interested in your family and friends. If he used to be a big participator in family events and was happy to socialize with your friends, but has become less enthusiastic about doing so, he might be cheating. If he is not willing to go out with you in group settings, it may be that he is worried his other woman will see the two of you together. [Try: Emotional cheating and 10 bad things it can do to you]
#23 The same name keeps coming up. It’s “Karen this, Karen that”—this mystery woman at his work suddenly seems to be the center of all his stories. Why the sudden interest?
#24 He goes to get groceries and comes back two hours later. Turning short trips into longer ones means that your man may very well be taking a detour. Unless he can give you a really good reason, if it happens frequently, this points to a cheating husband.
#25 He‘s defensive. About everything he does, in fact. It seems you can’t say anything without him acting like you’ve insulted him. He’s just asking for an argument, so he can feel less guilty about what he’s doing behind your back.
#26 He starts to dress differently. Men hardly ever change their style, so if he does, this is a huge sign that another woman out there is having a serious influence on him.
#27 He‘s all about culture. It used to be like pulling teeth whenever you suggested a trip to the theatre or a gallery or museum. Suddenly, he is more than happy to go. This may seem odd, but might initially seem like a positive change. Until you clock the young art student who has caught his eye, or the beautiful concert pianist he can’t stop smiling at, that is. [Check out: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart]
#28 He goes to all the office parties *and he never used to*. Work is where his social life is at. He used to spend hours joking about all the losers that worked there and suddenly they are all his best buddies. There is probably a new girl in the office–one that he wants to get to know a helluva lot better.
#29 He ignores you. If he has become vague and distracted, barely listens to what you say, trails off in the middle of sentences, and doesn’t bother to strike up a conversation with you, his mind is probably elsewhere.
#30 When you get jealous, he gets angry. If you voice your concerns to your husband, a faithful, caring one will comfort you, laugh, and tell you there is nothing to worry about. If he can’t do that, or gets inappropriately angry or defensive, it’s probably because you’ve outed him, and he wants to shut you down.
If you think your husband is cheating, use these 30 signs to help figure it out for sure. You certainly don’t want to be stuck in a loveless, unhappy marriage, so find out and get out as soon as you can.