There are some moments when you’re going to be angry, but if have repressed anger from a high school breakup over text, well, that’s different.
We all have some memories when we repressed our emotions – especially emotions that are difficult to express such as anger or disappointment. When you were young, you may have thrown a temper tantrum to express your emotions, however, as you got older, you were taught that that’s not the best way to express your feelings. And well, that’s the beginning of a lifelong battle with repressed anger for most of us.
What is repressed anger?
As we get older, what ends up happening is that we just stop expressing feelings that may make us feel uncomfortable. So, instead of telling your boss that you feel that you’re not being treated properly, you repress the anger inside you and let it bubble until one day you pop.
Now, two things could happen, you let your anger eat you from inside, or you explode. Either way, it’s shit.
How to let go of repressed anger
We all have repressed emotions, but it’s your job to let them go. I mean, really, do you want to explode? I just told you that it’s shit. So how about we take a look at ways to let go of your repressed anger, shall we?
#1 Self-reflection. You need to have a good, long sit with yourself and look at why you’re so angry. Start with your childhood, because usually there’s an incident that helped you to learn how to repress anger. From there, you can go through your life and see how repressing anger has affected you.
#2 Learn to forgive. You need to learn forgiveness. You need to learn how to forgive others and also how to forgive yourself. People do things that aren’t necessarily good, however, understand that they do it not because of you, but for themselves.
People’s actions are motivated by self-interest, so whatever anyone does, good or bad, is because of themselves.
#3 Know your body’s reaction to anger. I know right away when I’m angry, usually, even before I acknowledge the emotions. My body will start to heat up and I can feel my leg start to shake.
Know how your body reacts. That way, before you become completely sucked in by anger, you’ll see the signs and know how to cool yourself down.
#4 Use positive visualization. This may sound a little hippy, but it actually works. You need to bring in positive mental images into your mind. Think about people who you love that make you happy, or things you love to do. Surround yourself with positivity and learn to release your anger through activities that make you feel good.
#5 Learn to accept the past. Listen, the past isn’t going anywhere. As far as I know, you can’t erase it. But, you can accept it.
We all makes mistakes, I know, I’m no angel. But what are you going to do? Live the rest of your life thinking about what you should have done? Nah. Let it go.
#6 Embrace others’ points of view. If you’re feeling repressed anger towards someone, you should try to understand their point of view. Now, that doesn’t mean you’re going to agree with them and now everything will be rainbows and sunshine. But it’s important to understand where someone else is coming from. That way, you’ll be able to process your emotions.
#7 You’re not in control of life. You have to understand that you’re not in control of what happens around you. If something happened, know that it’s out of your control. If you’re holding repressed feelings towards your ex because they cheated on you, know that they were going to cheat on you regardless of what you tried to do.
#8 Exercise your anger out of you. Sometimes, you don’t want to talk it out with someone. Sometimes, the best way to release your anger is to sweat it out. Punch a boxing bag, go for a run, let yourself release your repressed anger through physical activity. This is a great way to get rid of the excess stress that’s clinging onto you.
#9 How can you prevent this anger from occurring again? What was it that sparked this emotion? Was it an encounter with someone? Were they friends? Do you usually feel this anger when around them?
You need to look at why you were angry and what you can do to help yourself handle it. If they’re someone who’s constantly making you feel that you cannot express your emotions, then maybe this person shouldn’t be in your life.
#10 Accept that you’ll be angry again. Listen, you’re going to be angry again and again and again. I mean, that’s normal. If you have children, well, then you know very well that anger is going to arise at some point in time. The goal for yourself shouldn’t be to think that you’re never going to be angry, that’s not realistic. What you should be focusing on is accepting this emotion as it is and learning how to handle it.
When you have repressed anger, it’s horrible. Let your body heal itself by trying to properly release these emotions so that you can be free. Emotional freedom is the ultimate form of freedom, so I know you can do it.