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20 May

Pillow Princess: What Does It Really Mean to Be Labeled as One?

Not sure what a pillow princess is? Here’s everything you need to know about what they are, how to spot one, and how not to be one.

When you hear “pillow princess” you might be thinking that this girl is living a life of luxury. And you’re right. If you’re a pillow princess, it’s a cushy ride. However, it’s also likely that no one wants to have sex with you. So what, exactly, is a pillow princess?

If you think pillow princesses are mythical creatures, think again. You may have been standing behind a pillow princess at the grocery store or even ordering your mocha latte from a pillow princess. If this is your first time hearing about pillow princesses, then you’ve been lucky. But just because you haven’t heard of the term doesn’t mean that you’ve never met one. I didn’t even know the term pillow princess existed until my best friend admitted to me that she was one.

What is a pillow princess? 

The term “pillow princess” refers to ladies who lie there during sex and do nothing. Firstly, pillow princesses are directed towards women who are bisexual or lesbian who enjoy receiving oral sex but don’t want to reciprocate. They’re women who love sex, but only on their terms and only if they don’t have to do anything. Get the gist? Let’s get it straight, though, we’re not here to simply attack women. There are also men who simply enjoying having sex without making sure their partner is having an orgasm or even enjoying the sex. Regardless, both are characters everyone wants to avoid in life.

Why do pillow princesses exist?

Good question. I mean, no one wakes up in the morning and decides to become a pillow princess. Honestly, it’s not the trait that you want roaming around the neighborhood. Personally, I love when a guy goes down on me. I could let me go down on me for days, and I usually leave him down there until he feels the need to come up for air.

Though at some point, when I see his face dripping wet, I feel that I should give back. It’s courteous and shows mutual respect. But let’s not jump to conclusions and assume that pillow princesses are these selfish beings that want to make sex slaves out of their partners. There are various reasons as to why someone is a pillow princess.

#1 Inexperience. If she doesn’t know how to do a specific sexual position, then she probably won’t try it. It’s not because she doesn’t want to, but simply because she doesn’t want to look like she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Inexperience can lead a girl pulling a pillow princess act simply because she’s insecure. Thus, inexperience can really hinder someone’s sexual drive, causing them to freeze up and seem like a pillow princess, when in reality, she’d really like to try to spice things up.

#2 Fear. In many instances, women are not encouraged to explore their sexuality alone or with a partner. However, exploring sexuality is a crucial part of developing your sexuality and understanding your own body and needs.

Pillow princesses may just be women who are scared to explore themselves sexually. If they’re bi-curious, this hesitation to reciprocate could be simply because they’ve never performed oral sex on another female before.

This just means that her partner will need to engage in effective communication and be patient. It may take some practice before she gets the hang of it, but, I mean, that doesn’t sound like a bad deal. If you’re a pillow princess reading this, there’s nothing to fear. We’re all on the same sexual ride as you, so get down there and start exploring.

#3 Previous partners. If a pillow princess was with a previous boyfriend or girlfriend who was sexually dominant, then they’ll be used to a specific sexual experience. For example, they may have dated someone who only had sex in specific positions, such as missionary. That means this pillow princess did a whole lot of nothing.

When you’ve had sex with one person for a long period of time, you get used to their sexual preference and vice versa – this is only natural. So, you can’t really blame them in this case. All you can do is teach them.

#4 Traumatic sexual experience. A guy once told me that he didn’t think I gave good blowjobs. When I think of it now, it’s not a big deal, as people like different styles and methods of oral sex. However, at the time, I didn’t want to give him another blowjob, ever. For me, this was a hit to my ego and really traumatized me.

When someone’s been sexually traumatized, they usually pull back and refrain from performing that sexual act. If someone tells you that you’re bad at sex, you most likely will become insecure when having sex, even with other people. Dissociation can also occur. This is when the person essentially mentally checks out and thinks about something else to help them remove themselves from the situation.

This leaves the woman basically like a noodle on the bed. The only way to get through this is with effective communication. Instead of insulting her, simply show her or describe to her what you prefer she do.

#5 Sheer laziness. This is the true of the original pillow princess. Some people are just lazy and only want their partners to perform sex on them. I get it. It feels great and you don’t do any work. I see the appeal. However, at some point, your partner, after working up a solid sweat, would also like to receive some pleasure.

Pillow princesses, this is a direct message to you. Don’t be selfish. If, for example, you’re having sex with a man and he would like you to get on top, there are ways to alleviate the sheer exhaustion of riding him. Put pillows under your knees, use your arms for support, use your partner’s body for support.

If you’re a woman having sex with another woman, you’ll just have to go down on her. You can’t expect everyone to go down on your forever. That’s a nice dream to have, but it’s time to give it up, girl.

Maybe you’ve never heard of a pillow princess before this feature, but now that you’ve read it, you know that you’ve either been with or been one yourself. Remember that everyone brings their own set of baggage to the table, so just be sure not to judge too quickly.

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