Politeness and being friendly can be confused as flirting or attraction. So is he interested or just being nice? Use these signs to know for sure.
Signs are a funny thing. Some things make you so sure someone likes you and others can be so up in the air. Can you tell what is what? How do you navigate subtle hints, signs, and signals? So is he interested or just being nice? Here are all the subtle cues you need to keep an eye on.
Nice versus flirting
Being nice and flirting overlaps, it’s easy to be confused, because sometimes they could even be the same thing. How do you tell the difference? Other than picking up on almost invisible subtle hints, it is not always possible.
Why do you want to know?
If you are simply just curious if someone likes you or is interested, let it go. If they are, they will eventually make it known by asking you out.
If you want to know so you can let them know you are not interested, you do not want to embarrass them or yourself. So be subtle. Work into a conversation that you are dating someone or not interested in dating anyone from the office. Hopefully they will get the point and you won’t have made it obvious.
If you like them, stop being subtle yourself.
He may be thinking the same thing
Guys are just as afraid of rejection as you are. Instead of trying to read between the lines, make it obvious. Give him the answer he’s not giving you.
If you like someone that gives you mixed signals, let them know that you are interested. Touch their arm when you’re talking. Or straight up ask them to go get a drink. From there you should figure out their intentions.
Is he interested or just being nice?
You like him, you don’t like him, you just want to know how to respond… Well, finding out his intentions are the first step.
What can you do to find out without being obvious or embarrassing? It is simpler than you might think.
#1 Does he ask you questions? If he talks about the weather and the traffic with you, he might be super bored. But he also might not be able to think of anything else to talk about and is nervous.
If he goes as far as to ask you about your life such as your family, your weekend plans, if you’re single, chances are he likes you.
#2 Does he touch your shoulder? Yes, some people are just touchy feely. But if he consistently puts his hand on the small of your back, your shoulder, or brushes up against the back of your hand when you walk side by side, he may be trying to get closer to you.
#3 Does he go out of his way? Most guys don’t even like going out of their way for their girlfriends, so if he does for you, he may be trying to impress you and hope you make the first move.
For instance, if he brings you your coffee order every morning or buys you small gifts because something reminded him of you, he most likely likes you.
#4 Is he polite? If he consistently says please and thank you and pulls out your chair that is nice. He may be a true gentleman, but that is not a clear cut sign he likes you.
Sadly in our world, having a crush is still often seen through teasing, not politeness. Unless there is something more than manners, this could just be him being nice.
#5 Does he offer things to just you? If you didn’t ask him for a favor and he offered to help, he may like you. For instance, if he offers to help you move, build IKEA furniture, or give you a ride to the airport, he probably likes you.
Not only does he want to do things for you, but these are all excuses to spend more time with you.
#6 He asks you for help. If you work with him and he asks you to make copies for him or do work that is beneath your title, he may just be a misogynist. But if he asks for your help with something that requires spending time together, he may like you.
If he needs to buy a gift for his mom’s birthday or pick the perfect restaurant to throw his sister a party and asks for you to research or shop with him, he probably likes you. But if he wants you to do the work on your own, don’t take that as a respect for your abilities, but rather him taking advantage.
#7 He shares personal stuff with you. If you are an easy person to talk to, he may just be venting. But if he volunteers information about his past, his childhood, his parents, he may want to confide in you because he trusts you.
That can be a telltale sign that he likes you. But if he talks to you a lot about his ex or his actual current girlfriend he is just venting, or looking for a side chick so avoid him.
#8 He compliments you. If he compliments your looks, he may just be nice. And if he constantly does it that may just be his personality.
But if he compliments your sense of humor, your work ethic, your passion, your kindness, your confidence he may like you. A guy who is interested, and worth your interest will take the time to notice more than just your looks.
#9 He acknowledges your relationship. What does that mean? If he says you make a good team or you work well together, he may just believe that in a literal sense.
But if he offers to do more together whether in a group or alone, he probably is interested. He might not ask you out in an obvious way, but if he makes plans even in a platonic sense he is probably interested on some level.
#10 He makes eye contact. Yes, this may be super subtle, but eye contact is such a major way to flirt and make a connection. Obviously, he’ll make eye contact in a conversation, you know, because he is a human being.
But if he is across the room and you catch each other’s eyes, he may be interested. And if he walks by and smiles, and you notice he is consistently making eye contact with you when he doesn’t need to, he is most likely interested.
#11 *BONUS* Ask him. A lot of men like a straight shooter. If you like him and want to know for sure, just ask. Tell him you feel a vibe and think he is flirting and want to know if you should take that seriously.
His answer to this will say it all. You’re a confident woman. So whether he says yes or no, now you know you can do something about it or move on.
Is he interested or just being nice? Hopefully by now you know. These signs should help you clear up the grey area so you can make your move.