Relationships are a lot of work, especially in these times. But you don’t need to call it quits. Instead, learn how to start over in a relationship.
Sometimes a relationship just needs a fresh start. It needs some space to breathe and relax. You love and care about your partner, so ending it isn’t something you really want. But you can’t continue things the way they are. Before making any drastic moves, here’s how to start over in a relationship, and see how things change.
Don’t be so quick to throw in the towel. Give your relationship a revamp and put some life back into it first.
How to start over in a relationship
This year has been unusually stressful and unpredictable. And it’s brought up many unanswered questions and forced you to sit down and think about your life, relationship, and future. Of course, answering these questions has brought on stress on top of everything else going on right now.
It’s actually not a bad thing. Now you’re focusing on your life. If you’re going through a hard time with your partner, the thought of ending things may have passed through your mind. But you don’t need to call it quits.
Sometimes, you just need a fresh start. Together.
#1 Sit down and talk. Okay, you feel the relationship needs to start over, but how does your partner feel? For all you know, they may think everything is going perfectly well. It’s not an easy conversation to have, but it’s an important one. If you’re going to start over in your relationship, you both need to be on the same page. Talk about how you feel and what needs are missing.
#2 What are the needs of your partner? This isn’t just about you. Yes, you want to feel better in your relationship, but what about your partner? After talking about what you both need to do to make the relationship work, it’s time for you to work on the things that matter to your partner. In the meantime, they’ll be working on the things that matter to you.
#3 Commit to letting go of the past. If you want to start over in a relationship, commit to letting go of the past. You’ve spoken to your partner about how you feel, how your partner feels, and the needs that are missing, so now it’s time to work on fulfilling those needs and working together. If you truly want to start over, you’ll need to let go of the past and focus on improving the future.
#4 Give each other space. This doesn’t mean take a break. What I mean is to give some space between you. You don’t need to see each other all day, every day. By giving each other space, you can spend some time focusing on self-care and decompressing your feelings. By doing this, you’ll give yourself more clarity and space for a fresh start.
#5 Get kissing. Affection is a huge part of relationships and something you shouldn’t ignore. If you want to re-start the relationship, show affection and love towards your partner and vice versa. Kissing your partner for longer than six seconds releases the hormone oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone. This helps to create a bond between someone and stimulate sexual desire.
#6 Plan the year ahead. This may seem silly as today things are changing daily. But that shouldn’t stop you from focusing on the future. Everyone needs something to look forward to. So, sit down with your partner and create a plan. Think of trips you want to take or hobbies you want to try together. Doing this can help create excitement in the relationship.
#7 See a couple’s counselor. You don’t need to wait until the relationship is on its last leg to see a counselor. If you feel the relationship is stuck, go to couple’s counseling. Your counselor will be able to help you work through issues and provide you with tools to improve your relationship. Many of us aren’t equipped to handle relationship issues, and counseling helps.
#8 Compliment your partner. It’s easy to criticize your partner, but that doesn’t harbor positive feelings. Instead, switch up the mindset and focus on complimenting your partner’s positive qualities. Through positive reinforcement, your partner will change the way they do things because they feel good about it.
#9 Become self-aware of harmful habits. Listen, there are things you do, which can be harmful towards your relationship. Everyone has learned habits that can do more damage than good. Perhaps you become aggressive during fights or ignore your partner when you’re upset. You need to be aware of your actions and work on changing them.
#10 Keep your own goals and dreams in mind. You’re in a relationship, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up your own dreams and goals. You are your own person. You need to think and plan your own life goals and dreams. This is something for your happiness, which will reflect on the relationship.
#11 Talk about sex. I know, it’s an awkward conversation to have with your partner, but it’s one you must have. If you feel the relationship is in a rut, the sex is probably a little flat or has become routine. Talk to your partner and communicate your sexual needs, and vice versa. Explore each other’s sexual needs and come up with a plan to spice up the bedroom.
Many couples go through rough times, but that doesn’t mean you need to call it quits. Before making any drastic moves, try these things to learn how to start over in a relationship.