Being unsure is a part of dating, but when you’re worried about your future, it’s good to learn how to know if you’ve met the one already.
Although I don’t necessarily believe in soulmates, I do believe you can meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But, how to know if you’ve met the one already can be tricky.
When I was 16, I thought my boyfriend was the one. Obviously, I was wrong. So, how do you know if you’ve met the one already? Well, it isn’t always easy. And many people end up with someone who may not actually be the one for them. You can also think you’ve met the one at first, but things change.
I know I’m making this sounds even more complicated than you already thought it was, but there is a bit that goes into meeting the one and especially knowing if you’ve met the one.
What is “the one”?
Whether you believe in soulmates or not, the one isn’t quite that. A soulmate is one person in the entire world that just fits with you. I think you can have that connection with multiple people but not all of them are necessarily right for you. You could have multiple soulmates. Maybe a teen soulmate or a best friend or even a first marriage, but things change, timing is off, and you grow.
The one is someone you trust that feels right, and you both are happy together even in tough times. You want to be with this person in good times and bad, and they you.
It is someone you don’t really have to filter yourself around. They are someone you love not in spite of their flaws but because of them. It is someone that happily accepts you and all your quirks.
The one is someone everything just feels right with. The one is the perfect person but the imperfect person that you see perfectly.
How to know if you’ve met the one
All of those descriptions of what the one is probably sound like a dream. No relationship is that amazing. And it’s true. Even your relationship with the one will have its ups and downs. But, through all of that, you want to be together. So, how do you know if you’ve met the one? Are they your current partner, your ex, or someone you have yet to meet?
Well, there are some signs you’ve met the one that can clear things up for you.
#1 You’re yourself with them. This is a big one. And it is often the thing you look back on after a break up. I thought I found the one when I was younger. Once it didn’t work out, I realized how truly uncomfortable I was around him. I wouldn’t let him see me without makeup or without shaving my legs.
I would leave our time together feeling exhausted rather than peaceful or relaxed. When you’ve met the one, you don’t need to act a certain way. You feel how you do when with family, friends, or even alone. You can be weird and maybe even gross, but you don’t worry about it.
#2 You communicate. You may think you’ve met the one when you don’t fight, but that can mean you’re not talking. It can mean you are avoiding hard conversations. When you are with the one, you communicate. You talk about the things that could lead to a fight or uncertainty, but you do it because you trust each other.
When you’ve met the one, you want to be on the same page. You don’t avoid things that could cause a hiccup. Instead, you work on things together because you want to be together.
#3 They make mundane things better. There are some people I’ve dated that I would never want to go grocery shopping with. They would complain or be impatient and just make boring errands worse.
When you’ve met the one, they can make even the most boring moments better. Waiting in line sucks, but waiting in line with the one is actually enjoyable. You can be together without doing anything and still feel the connection you have.
#4 You want the same things. When you’ve met the one, the timing works or you’re happy to make it work. You want the same things whether that is to travel, have success, or have a family. Things may not just fall into place, but your goals in life fit together in a way that works for you two.
#5 You respect each other. This is vital. All couples fight, but when you’ve met the one, you fight fair. You can argue, but you maintain respect for each other. You aren’t cruel or mean. But you disagree and talk it out and may get mad, but you don’t go over the line.
When you’ve met the one, you want to respect each other even in high-pressure times because you care and them hurting hurts you.
#6 Your friends and family know. This is something I have seen so clearly for myself and friends. If you’re wondering how to know if you’ve met the one already, remember this. When a friend is with the wrong person, you just know. They complain about them and are just unhappy a lot of the time. But, when they’ve met the one, you don’t hear them talk about them.
I know that sounds weird but think about it. When you are happy with someone, you don’t go to your friends and tell them because you’re enjoying yourself. When you’re miserable, you complain and vent. When my best friend met the one, we rarely talked about him.
Even when I met the one, my friends had to ask me how it was going. When I had dated in the past, they never had to ask because I would vent all the time. Before I even realized my boyfriend was the one, my friends could tell.
#7 It’s easy. I know this sounds off because all relationships require work to maintain, but whenever you ask someone how they knew someone was the one, they say it was easy. Those first few dates lead to something smoothly. Things just seem to fall into place. The timeline works out. You aren’t stressed by them or the relationship. They add to your life instead of taking away from it.
#8 You’re in sync. All relationships require work and communication but with the one, certain things match up. Whether it is intimacy or communication, it works instead of you working on it.
You work around each other well. You feel at ease around them. With my boyfriend, from about the third date we just sort of fell together. We work off each others’ energy and it feels right. In the past, if a boyfriend put his arm around me or cuddled, I would be self-conscious or uneasy.
#9 You’re both happy. Happiness seems simple, but it is a big sign that you found the one. Being happy doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days, but it means the relationship makes those bad days better. I never look at my boyfriend and think I could do better or that I’m not happy. I actually take the time to notice how good I feel around him and even the thought of him brightens my day.
#10 You just know. I know you hate this, but it is true. Sometimes knowing you met the one is all about an unexplainable feeling. You just know.
Figuring out how to know if you’ve met the one already is less of a science or checklist and more of a feeling. So, have you met the one?