We all have our comfort zones, but learning how to be less boring when dating can take your love life from blah to babe. It’s time to break out of the rut.
Whether you’re casually dating, trying to meet the one, or are in a relationship, learning how to be less boring when dating can spark excitement and a newfound interest.
For someone who travels the world, is outgoing, and the life of the party, dating may come as a breeze. But, for those of us who are introverts, prefer Netflix to bars, and stay safely within the confines of our comfort zones, dating can be tricky. You don’t want to come off as boring, but you kind of are. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Being boring is totally fine as long as it makes you happy. I’d consider my boyfriend and myself to be boring according to a broad definition, but we’re happy.
Are you boring when dating?
Boredom when dating can come in all different forms. Maybe you continuously go out to dinner or for drinks or coffee but never try anything new. Maybe you stay in and watch Netflix every night. Or maybe you go on fun dates but aren’t actually being fun.
Do you think you come off as boring to others? Or are you bored with your own dating life?
When I was single, I knew I wasn’t the most exciting date. I preferred to go for coffee as a date than something more exciting. I made it clear in my dating profile that I wasn’t much of a traveler and preferred binging Netflix to other activities. But I’m pretty outspoken and can make more mundane dates fun and never actually felt bored myself.
If you feel like others find you dull because you’re shy or quiet, try doing things where you have to interact and be less boring. If you feel bored with your own dating life, make changes.
But, if someone tells you, you’re boring, when you don’t feel bored or think you are, you don’t have to change a thing except the person you’re dating. Sometimes what is boring to some people is exciting to others. You just need to find someone that shares your ideas of excitement.
So, in order to figure out if you are boring or not, think about your ideal date. Is it something you normally do or something you’re comfortable doing? Is it something you wish you’ve done? Do you want to be more outgoing or adventurous?
If you want to make a change to your dating life because you feel like you’re boring or are bored, now is the time.
How to be less boring when dating
Dating can be boring and repetitive. You can feel like you aren’t making your date feel excited or like they’re having fun. Even being in a relationship can be boring. So, how can you be less boring when dating?
#1 Have fun yourself. Try not to worry so much about impressing your date. Instead, focus on enjoying your time. Whether you’re on a date with your partner or a first date, just enjoy yourself. If you are having fun, it will be contagious.
When you are having fun by default, your date with also enjoy themselves. Even if you don’t have the best connection, you can have fun.
#2 Take baby steps. Step outside your comfort zone a bit. If you go to the same restaurants or plan the same thing for your first dates, do something different. You don’t have to go sky diving to seem interesting.
Even something like mini-golf or an escape room can make a mundane first date more involved. Doing an activity rather than getting food offers you a chance to get to know each other in a new space. Competition or working together to solve something shows more of your personality.
This also works if you’re trying to liven up a dull relationship. Working together reignites your bond as a couple.
#3 Try new activities. Do something neither of you has done before. It could be the Polar Bear Plunge, karaoke, or a simple cooking class. Learning something new or trying something new together almost forces you to be bolder and more open.
When you are nervous, you are vulnerable and that is not boring. Doing something new for both of you prevents boring first date talk or mundane work stories. This way, you are experiencing something different and bonding over it. Even if you tend to be quiet and shy, getting into a new situation forces you out of your comfort zone.
#4 Make boring stuff fun. If you enjoy watching Netflix or walking around Target, no problem, but make it fun. If you can take a boring date and add something unique to it, not only will you have a better time, so will your date.
Watching Netflix? Quiz each other on at least five other things one of the actors was in. Going to dinner? Play “Heads Up” on your phone while waiting for your meal. You can even head to Target and spend $10 on something for each other based on the little you may know about them.
#5 Say what you’re thinking. When you’re on a date you may want to keep your thoughts to yourself so you don’t seem like you’re complaining or too talkative. But, if you are often quiet or shy, let it out.
If you think the music at the restaurant is weird, say something. If you notice a dog in a baby stroller, point it out. Or if there is rude graffiti on the wall you passed, mention it. You don’t need to keep things to yourself. Pointing out small things you think you’re the only one who notices can add a lot of fun to a date.
#6 Try a double date. Sometimes the nerves of a date can keep you bottled up. Instead of a one-on-one date that feels forced, try a double date or group date. This way, you are a bit more relaxed. It isn’t so romantic and emotional, but fun.
Whether you’re out to dinner or ax throwing, you’ll have multiple people to talk to and vibe off of. This can help calm nerves and make everyone more open.
#7 Be excited. If you’re not excited, you won’t be exciting. So, if this date isn’t something you are looking forward to, it will be evident. If you are dreading going to a restaurant where you don’t like the food, your mood will dull down the date. Don’t be worried to change the plans if it will put you in a better position to have fun.
#8 Get pumped up. Confidence can help you have fun. If you are feeling blah, your date will be blah. Have a friend give you a pep talk before your date. Try a new hairstyle or outfit you feel sexy in.
This boost of confidence will cheer you up and help you be bolder. You’ll talk more, ask more questions, and once you feel that confident around your date, it is easier to carry that through to another date or even throughout a relationship.
You can learn how to be less boring when dating as long as you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone. Try these, and you’ll be surprised by the difference it makes.