Take a deep breath and dive straight in! Make a decision to contact someone as soon as possible and you’ll be surprised how easy it is.
Writing a message
Before sending a mail, look at the person you are contacting. Balance the mail with some information about yourself and comments about them based on their profile. Never send out a ‘standard’ email as people will see straight through it. Show interest in the person you are contacting and that interest will always be rewarded.
Contacting a handful of people at a time is good practice as it allows you to remember the important little details about them as you exchange mails. Too many and you’ll make the classic mistake of mixing people up. Humour is difficult to write at the best of times. It’s usually best left till you know the other person a little better. Don’t be fooled by the most widely used and least useful expressions in terms of dating profiles: GSOH. Your idea of what this means will often be very different to what someone else thinks.
Spend time on the site
They say that you never get something for nothing and the same is true of internet dating. The more time you spend on the site, and particularly the more time you spend on researching other members profiles, then the higher your chances will be of meeting someone really special.
Rather than contact one person at a time, don’t be worried about contacting a handful of people at once. This way you can exchange a couple of messages and see if there’s any common ground. If there isn’t then politely drop this person from your group of contacts and add someone else to it. Don’t make the group too big otherwise you’ll start getting confused between the different members that you’re writing to. Logging on every day will also keep your profile at the top of other members search queries.
Always be polite and respond to all messages
Always respond to messages even if it means sending a polite no to someone you may not be interested in. Everyone involved in internet dating know that saying no is quite acceptable as long as you’re polite. The important thing is to treat people as you would like to be treated yourself. If you’ve contacted someone and they’re not interested then surely you’d like at least a one line reply rather than nothing.
Advice for the date
No dating site carries out background checks on its members so even if you’ve been exchanging mails over the site or privately, always remember that you still don’t really know the person you’re about to meet. This means that you should use the same common sense judgement that you’d use whenever you meet someone new. Examples are:
- Don’t give out your private address or full name during email contact
- Meet in a public place
- Let a friend know the details of your date including expected return time
- Have a friend call you during the date. This is also an excellent excuse to leave if it’s not going well
- Try to keep a mental note on how much you’re drinking as it’s easy to get carried away
- Try to finish your drink before leaving your date for the bathroom/mobile call
- Make your own way to and from the date and keep an eye on the time in case you’re relying on public transport