Your relationship is getting serious, but are you ready to move in together? Make sure you both know what you’re getting ready to before jumping in.
Are you ready to move in together? It is a big deal. You’ll go from a romantic relationship to “what the hell did you do to the toilet?” and “there is a hair snake in the shower drain!”
Are you ready for that?
Living together may sound like a nonstop date, but have you ever lived with anyone without tension? Your siblings, roommates, and parents all got on your nerves. It will happen here too. The question is, are you ready for it?
A young relationship can get torn apart by moving in together too quickly, and even a long-term relationship can end when living together proves to be too stressful.
Of course, when you are ready to move in together, it can be a wonderful way to bring your relationship to a new level and find even more intimacy, but are you ready to move in together?
Why do you want to move in together?
Before getting into all the nitty-gritty about moving in together, first answer, why you want to move in together. Do you love each other? Are you ready for that commitment? Or is your lease up? Are you dying to get out of your parents’ house? Do you need someone to split the rent with?
Think about your reasoning behind taking this step together. Is it practical or because you’re ready and excited?
Sure, it can be both. But, if you’re only doing it because you feel like you’ve been together long enough and it makes sense, you may want to reassess.
Everyone’s relationship ebbs and flows. Some people are ready to move in together happily at six months while others take six years. There is no magic number that tells you you are ready to move in together.
Sure, there are some signs that you are ready. But there is no definitive answer. Moving in together is always a risk. But it is also one worth taking if you’re doing it for the right reasons.
Are you ready to move in together?
Being ready to move in together takes some serious thought. Whether your relationship is rocky or perfectly stable, a change that big will take a lot of adjustment. It is up to you to decide if your relationship can withstand this big of a step. If so, your relationship can build and get even stronger.
So, are you ready to move in together?
#1 You’re committed. Yes, you can live together and have an open relationship, but you should be committed to each other. You should both be putting effort into making the other person happy, communicating, and being dedicated to the relationship.
Without this, moving in together can cause a lot of problems or bring out the problem you may already have but buried in denial.
#2 You know each other’s routine. Whether you stay over at each other’s places all the time or not, being used to the routine will help you adjust more easily. Does your partner work a night shift? How will you take turns in the bathroom?
Being familiar with these small details will take a lot of stress out of moving in together.
#3 You’ve had a fight and recovered. All relationships endure arguments. Even if you don’t scream or yell, having a fight and talking through it and coming out stronger is a great sign you’re ready to move in together. It shows that you can handle the bad times as well as the good and work together to overcome them.
#4 You’ve stayed overnight together. Sharing a bed might seem like no big deal on Friday night when you can sleep in the next day. Living together means sharing a bed when you need to get up for that important meeting.
Getting comfortable sleeping next to each other and sharing that intimate and personal space every night should be something you are comfortable with.
#5 You’ve discussed finances. It isn’t sexy, but finances need to be discussed at this point in the relationship. Figure out how you’ll split the rent, pay for groceries, and bills, etc.
You don’t want secret debt to rear its ugly head years into living together. Get it all out in the open now. Will one person handle things or will it be joint?
#6 You know how you’ll split chores. You are sharing a space, so it is only right that you share the care for that space. Will you take turns cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, and cooking dinner? Will one of you take out the trash and do the laundry while the other cleans the toilet and washes the dishes?
Figuring this out before it becomes a problem is the best way to handle it. If you’ve done that, you’re a step closer to being ready to move in together.
#7 You’ve discussed your future. Moving in together isn’t casual. If you are joining your households, you’ll want to know what the future holds. Are you planning on getting engaged or married? Do you want kids or pets down the line? What does that timeline look like? Is this place temporary or are you settling here?
All of this can be scary to talk about. It needs to be discussed so you aren’t taken off guard later when it will hurt even more.
#8 You know what the other person needs. Hopefully, by the time you consider moving in together, you know a significant amount about each other. When you live together, it is helpful to know what your partner needs when they’ve had a bad day and vice versa.
Do they like alone time to watch TV or play video games or would they prefer you order take out and draw them a bath? If you know these things, the rough days won’t be so bad.
#9 You communicate. This is obvious, but I had to include it. You need to be able to communicate in order to live together. Whether it is asking your partner to put their dirty clothes in the hamper or discussing a cut in your pay, talk about all of this or else you’ll resent each other.
#10 Your stance on guests. You may love having your family over for dinner once a week, or let your sister stay on the couch indefinitely, while your partner has a limit to the amount of socializing in their home.
Talk to each other about this. Decide what the ground rules are and how much notice is needed before inviting someone.
#11 You know how you’ll keep the romance alive. Again, living together is not just one never-ending date. Because you’re together every evening, it can be easy to just watch Netflix and eat at home.
Make sure you keep the romance alive. Plan actual date nights. Dressing up for each other and doing something out of the normal keeps your relationship fresh.
#12 You hate not living together. If you feel frustrated hauling your overnight bag back and forth every day and spent the majority of your free time together, now it could mean it is time to live together. I don’t want to say convenience is a good reason to move in together, but if it is inconvenient that you aren’t living together it isn’t a bad reason to toss in the mix.
#13 You’re prepared. You can never be prepared for everything, but if you are both aware that living together will not be a perfect fairy tale, you are more ready than a lot of couples. Just knowing that you will have struggles to face and plan on facing them together says a lot about your readiness to live together.
#14 You spend time apart. Maintaining your independence when living together is so important. So, if you’re codependent, living together can exacerbate that. Ensure you both have your own friends and hobbies even though you share a home.
#15 You’re more excited than nervous. Nerves will always come into play when you are making a big life decision like this. If you are more happy and excited about living together than nervous, that is a good sign.
#16 You want to come home to this person every day. This is the cheesiest, but also most important sign, you’re ready to move in together. When you get home at the end of a long day, this is the person you want to see when you open the door. This is the person that puts a smile on your face. And this is the person that feels like home.
So, with all of this, are you ready to move in together? Talk through your fears and hesitations together and make sure you’re on the same page.