Asking the right questions during speed dating can help you figure out who you should pursue. Try asking these questions to make the decision easier!
Speed dating can be exciting yet nerve wrecking at the same time. It can be an overwhelming mixture of nerves, because you are meeting new people, engaging in random conversations and putting yourself out there to hopefully find a potential mate. The best part about speed dating is that no one can truly know who you are, unless you decide to continue the process of getting to know someone on a more personal level.
However, it is important that you go into speed dating with an open mind. An open mind helps you remain open to the many possibilities of dating and engaging with different personalities. People seem to forget to ask the right questions that will help them make a sound decision of who they should give their number to at the end of the night.
The right questions to ask when you’re speed dating
Though speed dating only gives you a handful of minutes to get to know the person you’re faced with, you can still squeeze in a couple of very important questions. Here are a few questions that can help you become better at speed dating.
#1 Where are you from? This question helps to give you insight about a person’s background. It also provides information on how someone views family, culture, tradition and non-tradition, and so forth. Knowing where someone is from helps you understand a little bit about them and their perspective on life in a short amount of time.
Where someone comes from can shed light on the kind of person they are, but of course, you must ditch any stereotypes or preconceived notions that may come up regarding this question. No one wants to feel judged or misunderstood because of his or her background. Thus, the true purpose of this question is to pay attention to the way in which the person talks about where they are from and the pride or lack of pride they feel while talking about it.
#2 What are you passionate about? Most people tend to light up when they are asked to talk about what they are passionate about. This question allows you to feel the amazing energy someone may have for that one thing that gives them a zest for life. On the other hand, it will allow you to weed out the ones who lack in this department. It is highly attractive to be passionate about something and to chase after it relentlessly, because it shows that someone has aspirations.
By asking this question, you will determine if this person matches your ambitious spirit. Being passionate about something shows that the person can bring that same passion to a relationship. Let’s face it, no one wants to date someone who has nothing going on. It can be extremely boring. Most of us seek people who can teach us new things and bring new things to the table.
#3 What are your plans for the future? Yes, they say, “live in the present”, but the future is important also. You have to ask this question to get a clear understanding as to what someone has planned for the future. This reveals the direction they are moving in, and it helps you decide if you want to take things further to endure that journey with them. Although, some people may stumble on this question, you can still ask them what some of their future goals are, whether it has anything to do with their career, their family life or even their passion.
If someone answers with “uh, I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far,” it can be a red flag that this person does not really have a direction in their life, so they may not have a clear direction on their romantic endeavors either.
Just like it is important to know where people have been, it is important to know where they are headed. Plus, if their future plans do not align with yours, then you can save yourself the trouble and end things there.
#4 What are some of your dating deal breakers? Learning about a person’s deal breakers upfront leaves no room for errors if you decide to take things further. Everyone has a list of relationship dos and don’ts that they keep nearby. Additionally, the great thing about this question is that it gives you a little insight to some of the things the person dealt with in their past relationships. Usually, deal breakers stem from past dilemmas and are then implemented, so that the next relationship won’t suffer from the same fate.
Asking this question will tell you about the person’s standards. Don’t we all want someone with standards? And wouldn’t you want to know if you fit into those standards? However, if someone has too many deal breakers, then maybe that person is the problem.
#5 Why did your last relationship end? Uh oh, the inevitable last relationship question. Do not be afraid of this question, because it is your friend, not your enemy. This is a highly insightful question, especially if you want to learn about the person’s past relationship woes. It is also a probing question that will let you know if someone is still hung up on their ex or if they are truly ready to move on.
No one wants someone with a lot of extra baggage. This question is also helpful to ask, because any additional red flags will sound off. If someone describes a bad ending, then they may be on the rebound. But if the last relationship ended on good terms, then it may be a sign that this person is capable of ending a relationship without being hung up on the past.
#6 Is sexual compatibility important to you? We are all adults here, so try not to cringe when asking this question. Views on sexual compatibility vary from person to person. To some, it is very important to have a strong sexual connection with a potential mate, and to others, not so much.
You may want to ask this question to make sure your views match up when it comes to sexual compatibility. If one person feels strongly about it and the other does not, then that may cause problems in the bedroom down the road. Avoid any potential issues by simply asking this question.
#7 What do you do for fun? This is such a light and easy question that can lighten up the mood. It will also serve as a way to see if you share some of the same interests. People love to talk about what they like to do for fun, so this question will allow them to share interesting aspects of their life with you. It is always a good idea to start with the informative questions, then ease into the light questions to end the conversation on a high note.
#8 What is one thing you would like to share about yourself? This gives you the chance to learn about the one thing they feel is important enough to share with you. People are sometimes strategic about what they share, so do not think too hard when they share something light with you.
This question also allows their personality to shine through, and it sheds some light on their true essence. Based on their hobbies, you can deduce if this person is an intellectual, a daredevil, the athletic type or the artsy type. Not to put them in a category or anything, but having some idea of what a person is into allows you to come up with a quick summary of what a person may be like.
Overall, speed dating is what you make it, and it is important to try to have fun with it. These 8 questions can help you understand some key insights about someone in a short amount of time. Each question highlights parts of someone’s personality, background and relationship views. Remember, ask the hard stuff first, and then ease your way into the light questions.