A break up can hurt us, but it can also make us better individuals. Here are five soul searching questions that every one of us have to ask ourselves when we come face to face with a break up.
Click here to read the introduction: 5 Things a Break Up can teach you about Life
Question 3. Do you possess any overbearing strength that could have added to your predicament?
We often overlook strength as a possible contributor to our downfall. But, this can also be seen as being a major cause of failure, both in the professional and well as the personal world. For example, being a stickler for detail could be considered a sign of perfection. But it could also be considered a nagging habit that few would be able to sustain on a medium to long term basis. Being too loving, could also be considered to be too dominating, or being restrictive to the freedom of others.
Every relationship appreciates a certain amount of space, and though relationships view the constant connection as a sign of being hooked to the other partner, there will come a time when this becomes an irritant that could drive a couple apart.
Question 4. Is there an external influence that could have caused the problem?
Many relationships break up because of interference from a sister, mother, or friend from the outside. The external hand can wreak havoc and destroy relationships in a subtle way.
And we may only be able to detect it when it is too late. If the relationship was important, then the external source should have been dropped, in order to save the relationship. Even royal marriages like Prince Charles and Lady Diana’s, was not without outside influence. Each of them had some amount of outside interference which took a toll on their royal marriage.
Sadly, some adverse influences often come from parents who are not able to let their grown children establish their own relationships. If you are someone who cries on an outsider’s shoulder, you may be one who is influenced from the outside. Do take this time-out to cut the cord and develop your own strength, otherwise you may have the same problem in your next relationship.
Question 5. Is there any other blind spot that you have not noticed?
After all is said and done, we understand that everything happens for a reason. Since this is a blind spot for us, we may need some outside help to unravel the mystery. Please do ask for feedback. One of the nice facts of life is that most people who are asked for advice feel elated that we have considered them worthy of giving us advice. Do choose the right person to do the honors. Having more than one source of advice is a safe way to approach the issue. If there are varying viewpoints, an additional opinion will surely be able to clear your doubts. Even the corporate world employs a 360 degree evaluation to great effect. We should be strong enough to take feedback, and use this to build ourselves.
After all, we are not only social animals that want to grow and evolve, but we are also evolving creatures that have to be stronger, and work smarter if we want to evolve mentally and emotionally as well.
Happy evolving, and may the pain that you have experienced make you a better person, and a much better partner in future!