If you’re in a relationship, there is still so much more to discover about each other. Here are some great conversation starters for couples.
Every new relationship is a whirlwind of sunshine, peaches, romance, and all that beautiful, rose-colored jazz. However, once the fire fizzles and the dust settles, there may come a point when there seems to be not a lot left to discover or even talk about.
You already know each other pretty well, and you may even pride yourself for being able to read each other’s minds and complete each other’s sentences.
But now that you have settled into the afterglow, things are comfortable, and even more so – predictable. This is the time when things can get pretty boring, and so you two must make that extra effort to go deeper into each other’s minds, principles, and beliefs. You have to engage in deeper conversations that go beyond the motions, the mere pleasantries, and the romance.
Conversation starters for couples
So how do you find more subjects to talk about when you seem to have discussed all there is to know about each other, and everything else under the sun? Check out these conversation starters for couples who are just getting serious—sit down and try out these topics—and maybe even take your budding relationship to a deeper, more profound level.
#1 Do you remember the last time when you both laughed so hard you could cry? Reminisce the best times you had and by doing so, and you might be able to do it again.
#2 When was the last time your partner made you feel good about yourself and vice versa? This allows you to think about each other in a positive light and appreciate your good qualities.
#3 What’s your favorite sexual memory together? This can be about a fulfillment of a fantasy, some role-playing, or just a simple, quiet, and romantic night you shared.
#4 What event in your life do you think the term “scarred for life” applies? This allows you to go deeper into each other’s experiences and understand how past situations changed you both.
#5 What’s your plan for next year? In five years? In ten? Discuss if you have similar plans and goals. However, if you have differences, talk about how you can work together to support each other and complement your goals with the other.
#6 What would you do if you won the lottery right now? Discuss your plans, needs, and wants, and how each other fits in the picture.
#7 What would you do if we were not together right now? How would things be if the two of you didn’t meet each other? Would either of you be miserable, happy, in trouble, or successful?
#8 What were your misconceptions about each other? For sure, you have first impressions about each other that were proven wrong as you progressed through your relationship.
#9 What are your pet peeves? Living together brings more discoveries—some you’d rather not know, and others you hope you can un-see.
#10 What is your dream vacation? At this point, you may have gone to a few vacations. Picture a dream destination—and maybe work on making it come true.
#11 What would you like to change about yourself? What would you like to change about your partner? Be real and honest. This is the ideal time for criticism, but make sure it’s constructive.
#12 What gives you “butterflies”? Know what excites and thrills each other romantically.
#13 What are your similarities? Do these help or hinder your relationship? Look at opportunities to complement each other despite your differences, and see how your similarities can grow your relationship.
#14 What is hot about your partner? What do you find sexy about your partner?
#15 What are your sexual fantasies? No need to play coy and modest—say it now or forever be silent!
#16 What do you think about each other’s family? Parents? Having good relations with each other’s family members can contribute to a harmonious relationship.
#17 What’s the most romantic thing your partner has done? This is another opportunity to show your appreciation for your partner, and also a way to encourage desirable actions.
#18 What do you enjoy most in the bedroom? You may know each other very well sexually, so this is a way to talk about the special things your partner does that makes you feel good in bed.
#19 You get turned on when____. Describe random, out-of-the-ordinary or ordinary things that turn you on about your partner.
#20 How has your relationship changed since you started dating? Has your relationship grown? Take an inventory of your relationship and how you have changed through the months or years.
#21 What do you consider as a deal-breaker? What did you consider as a deal-breaker before meeting each other? Talk about the time you first met each other and the early days you dated. Do you still consider those deal-breakers such a big deal?
#22 When we fight, I wish you would _____. Fighting is inevitable, but if there’s a way you both can stop it from getting it blown out of proportion, then great.
#23 What can your partner do to win you over when you’re not on good terms? Discuss how you can both stop the fight and make up. What makes your heart melt when you get angry, and vice versa?
#24 Do you still have secrets from each other? Are there things and confessions you still want to say?
#25 Who among your family and friends know you best? So maybe you can hound them for any additional info and secrets about your partner.
#26 When do you feel most like yourself? Is there a particular activity you like to do that helps you unwind, recollect, recharge?
#27 What is your guilty pleasure? Do you like bingeing on Netflix series, or listening to 90s boy bands? Dancing along to Ariana Grande in the shower?
#28 If your life was a movie, who would play you and who would play your partner? Would you like certain celebrities to play you? What’s the movie title and soundtrack?
#29 Do you feel the most vulnerable now, when you first started dating, or before you met each other? Describe what makes you feel vulnerable the most.
#30 Are there goals that you have reached with the help or support of your partner? What successes and triumphs do you think wouldn’t have been/be possible without the help of your partner?
#31 What’s a perfect day with your partner to you? Who knows, that perfect day may happen more often!
#32 What is your bucket list as a couple? Create the craziest, most outrageous, and most must-do things you should accomplish as a couple.
#33 Who was your first crush? Recall the things you did when you were a kid and feeling that puppy love feeling.
#34 Do you still masturbate? What do you do and think about? Come on, this is something you should already talk about if you’ve been together for quite a long while.
#35 Who else from your family do you want the other to meet *and vice versa?* Is there a favorite aunt or an interestingly eccentric grandparent that you think would get along well with your partner?
#36 Who do you think you’re most like? Your mother or your father? What does your partner think? You can talk about your parents’ endearing qualities, and this question can lead to more stories about family and childhoods.
#37 If you could go back in time, what time in your life do you want to go back to? Discuss milestone moments in your lives. Would you do them over or just relive them once again?
#38 What is your biggest regret? Your biggest triumph? Talk about the highest and lowest moments of your life.
#39 Do you think you know your partner best already? See if you really know each other well: What 3 things do you think they would bring if they’re going to be stranded on an island for the rest of their lives?
#40 When can you say you’re truly successful? Do you need tons of money, a high position in the corporate ladder, or become a CEO of your own company? What can make you say you’re indeed successful in your individual endeavors?
#41 What’s your approach to money and savings? This is an important conversation to have, especially if you’re getting serious in your relationship and even considering marriage.
These are just guides for conversation starters for couples. However, it is still up to you to help make your relationship grow as you have a deeper understanding of each other as individuals, and as a couple.