Haven’t been on a first date in a while? Time to refresh yourself on the first date rules for guys to follow. You want to score that second date, right?
There are some things you should and shouldn’t do if you’re wanting to land a second date. Trust me, I’ve been on a million first dates with all different types of guy—I know the first date rules for guys.
First dates are exciting. You like the girl and want to discover more about her. You’re just not sure how to go about it. Listen, you’re not the only one with first date jitters. Even your date probably worries she’s saying the right thing or looks good. We’re only human.
And while first date jitters are completely normal, the entire purpose is to see if you’re interested in seeing this person again.
First date rules for guys you need to know
Though you never really know what the other person is thinking, there are some basic rules to follow to make sure the date goes as smoothly as planned. If you have the basic mistakes out of the way, you can focus on what really matters: connection.
So, before your next first date, skim over these first date rules for guys and avoid breaking them. And if you do end up breaking some of these rules, don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. The good thing is this won’t be the last first date you’ll be going on, right? Right!
Follow these first date rules for guys, get a second date.
#1 Is this an actual date? Some men are too nervous to ask a girl out on a date, so they’ll “ask her out” but in a subtle way. Listen, if you’re not clear then you’re setting yourself up to fail. It’s better to be rejected right away than to take a girl out, spend your time and money on her, only to find out she’s not interested. Don’t do this to yourself.
#2 Be clear with what you want. So many men and women aren’t clear with their intentions and this is what actually causes problems. You both need to be on the same page. I know you think it’s mysterious to not tell someone what you’re looking for, but if you’re not clear, you’ll look like an asshole. Are you looking for something casual? Something serious? Be up front.
#3 Don’t go dutch on the bill. I know everyone is about being progressive, but listen, it’s the first date. Just pay. This doesn’t mean you need to take her out for a fancy dinner, a simple coffee is a nice gesture and won’t break the bank. At the end of the day, no matter how progressive as a society we are, women are still looking for a gentleman.
#4 Keep your hands to yourself. This isn’t your third date, it’s your first date. Keep your hands to yourself. The last thing she needs is the feeling you’re taking her out only to get in her pants. You may think that touching her shows your interest, but if anything, it just shows her that you do this with every girl. If you do touch her, make sure it’s not in a sexual way.
#5 Get into the conversation. Don’t assume all women like the strong and silent type. We may think it’s sexy, but at the end of the day, we want someone who we can sit down with and talk over dinner. If you’re playing silent, she’ll think you’re emotionally closed off. So, do your best to engage in conversation. If you’re shy, it’s okay, you just need to give her something to work with.
#6 Keep the date short. You may really dig her, but having a three hour first date is exhausting. You don’t want to make her feel like she has no way out. You want her to be curious enough to want to see you again. So, keep the first date short and sweet. Your first date should be no longer than an hour and a half. The mystery is what will bring her back for more.
#7 Go easy on the booze. You may think going out for drinks is a good idea, but you should save that for the second or third date. No one wants to see you slurring ten minutes after meeting you. Getting drunk on a first date isn’t sexy, and if anything it increases your chances of saying something stupid. Plus, many women see excessive drinking as a red flag.
#8 Make it for the daytime. The first date is supposed to be an easy and light introduction into who you are and vice versa. There shouldn’t be any romantic dim lighting. Your first date is about building a relationship and trust. So, ask her out during the daytime where she’ll feel most comfortable. Plus, also make sure the place you’re meeting is near her home.
#9 Go easy on cursing. Though you may be used to swearing in every sentence you use, most people don’t find it a turn on. I love cursing, but I know there is a time and a place. You cursing every second word isn’t going to make you look cool. So, ditch the slang and use proper grammar. It’s hot.
#10 Use the weekend. Saturday is the best day to go on a first date. You have a clear schedule, she’s not stressed or tired from work, everyone is happy. Meeting her on Saturday afternoon is the best option as everyone will be well-rested and you both have time to go out during the evening with friends.
#11 Keep it light. Though you may love reciting poetry or talking about philosophy, you probably should take it easy on the first date. You are trying to get to know each other, not solve the problems of the universe. Keep the conversation light and really focus on getting to know one another. Save politics and religion for another day.
#12 Stay away from talking about money. Or even well-known people you know. We’re all very happy you can afford to drive an Audi, but talking about it makes you look like a tool. Don’t try to prove to her your worth through money, it’s not going to work. She has eyes, she can see what you have and what you don’t have. Just relax.
#13 Be on time. She may be late, but you need to be on time. The last thing you want is to make her wait for you after you’re the one who asked her out. Now, if you’re going to be late, make sure you let her know ahead of time. Wasting her time isn’t going to give you brownie points.
#14 Decide what to do for the date. I cannot stand when the guy asks me, “so what do you want to do?” I don’t know, you asked me out on a date, you figure it out. If you go through the trouble of asking her out on a date, make sure you have a place in mind. If she’s not a fan of your suggestion, then ask her opinion. Remember to always have a backup ready.
#15 Keep going on first dates. It’s the first date, so nothing is concrete. With that being said, don’t lock yourself in. Go on other dates as well. This will keep you from acting desperate. Plus, you’ll get to practice going on dates with other people.
Now that you know the most important first date rules for guys, you have no excuses! Follow these rules and you’ll be well on your way to landing yourself a second date.