Friendship has to be a two-way thing, so what if you’re spotting these signs your friend doesn’t respect you? It’s time for an inter-friend-tion.
We all need friends in life. These the ones who pick us up when we’re down, the ones who celebrate our successes, and those who have our backs when things get tough. Friends are your ride or die, the ones who will never let you down. The problem is, not all friends are equal.
It’s vital to check your inner circle from time to time and check that you’re surrounding yourself with people who build you up rather than knock you down, to check that no-one is drilling holes in your boat when your back is turned. By doing that, you can be sure that you’ll have long-lasting, high quality friendships for a long time to come.
Respect is something that has to be earned, but it’s also something which needs to be present in every relationship and friendship alike.
If you don’t have mutual respect, you really have nothing to build the friendship upon. So, what if you’re starting to notice signs your friend doesn’t respect you? Should you quit it and move on, or have a conversation?
Sometimes we show a lack of attention to someone we’re close to because of something going on in our own lives. This can lead to showing a lack of respect without even realizing it. If you have a close friend and you’re noticing that they’re not being as present as they normally would be, or perhaps they’re acting out of character, maybe it’s time to sit down and have a chat, find out if everything is okay. You don’t always have to quit and move on.
However, if someone is continually showing you a lack of respect despite your conversations about it, it’s time to shrug your shoulders, learn from the experience and find a new friend.
Be on the lookout for these signs your friend doesn’t respect you
Not sure what to look out for? Here are 13 signs your friend doesn’t respect you that can help you make up your mind.
#1 Laughing at you or belittling you in front of others. Some people love to knock people down in order to make themselves look good and if your friend has started to do this, or you’re starting to notice that they’ve been doing it all along, it shows a huge lack of respect towards you. Friendship rule number one – never belittle your friend!
#2 Not having your back. Whilst I’m not going to suggest they have to agree with everything you do, a good friend has your back whether you’re right or wrong. If your friend simply refuses to back you up on anything, they clearly don’t care enough about you and they’re showing one of the clear signs your friend doesn’t respect you.
#3 Interrupting you all the time. Is there anything more annoying than someone who cuts you off before you’ve finished speaking, simply because they’re not interested in what you have to say?
If a so-called friend of yours is doing this, it’s time to call them out on it because it’s seriously disrespectful and ultra-annoying. It basically says that their story is far more interesting and important than yours.
#4 Never celebrating your successes. A true friend wants to celebrate your successes and will be the first one there, cheerleading you over the finish line. If your so-called friend is never there and never rooting for you, there is a huge power issue in the friendship and one which possibly can’t be fixed.
#5 Not encouraging you to go for the things you want. A good friend will push you to achieve, they’ll try and be the driving force behind your successes, so if your friend never tries to encourage you and instead they’re pulling you back, it’s one of the signs your friend doesn’t respect you, for sure.
#6 Knocking your confidence instead of building it up. We all have days when we’re feeling less than shiny. But on those days, your friend is supposed to build you up and tell you how wonderful you are. If your friend is doing the opposite, if they’re pulling you down, perhaps to make themselves feel better, they’re not only showing disrespect but they’re also being a terrible friend!
#7 Talking behind your back. If you find out that a friend has been talking about you behind your back, you need to question why they’re your friend in the first place. Again, your friend is supposed to have your back at all times and that means never discussing your business or talking about you when you’re not around.
#8 Never seems to want to help you out. Sometimes we ask favors of our friends and whilst it totally depends on the favor as to whether they do it or not, if your friend never helps out when you ask a small thing, you have to wonder whether they have the same idea of friendship as you. They’re showing you disrespect because they’re not honoring your friendship.
#9 Regularly letting you down at the last minute. Sometimes we have to let our friends down, but it should never become a regular thing. If your friend is always letting you down at the last minute, perhaps deciding to go out with another friend instead of you, not inviting you to go along, or choosing their partner over you at all times, they’re showing one of the major signs your friend doesn’t respect you because they assume you won’t mind. You do mind, of course, you do.
#10 They never apologize. We all make mistakes sometimes but a good person apologizes when they know they’ve done something wrong. If your friend never apologizes, if they simply assume that they don’t have to, it’s downright disrespectful. Would they like it if you did the same to them? Probably not.
#11 They’re never present in the moment. Is there anything more annoying than meeting someone for a coffee catch up and then they spend the entire time on their phone? It’s not being present and it’s seriously rude. If your friend is always on their phone when you’re supposed to be spending quality friend time together, they’re disrespecting you.
#12 They bombard you with calls when they know you’re busy. If your friend knows that you’re at work, you’re studying, you’re on a date, or you’re spending family time, they should give you the space you need and call at a later time.
However, if your friend is constantly bombarding you when they know full well that you’re occupied, they’re simply assuming that you’ll drop everything and run to them. Hugely disrespectful.
#13 They don’t return your calls or messages for long periods of time. Everyone forgets to reply to a call or message occasionally and it’s normal to not be able to reply straightaway sometimes, but if this is happening on a regular basis, it’s your friend prioritizing everything else over you. Not exactly the greatest basis for a lasting friendship!
If your friend constantly disrespects you in some way or the other, you need to consider whether this person is a real friend or just someone who is in your life for no quality reason. However, if your friend is simply acting out of character, perhaps it’s better to sit down and explore the issue together.
If you’re noticing these signs your friend doesn’t respect you, it’s time to sit down and take stock. Never throw away a friendship for a temporary issue. But at the same time, do not settle for a regular pattern of disrespect either. Friendship is a two-way street, remember.