Love is not always about the big romantic epics or orchestrated dates. There are small gestures that show love in a big way.
Whether you feel like your partner is lacking in the romance department or you don’t know how to show love every day, this is the article to learn about the small gestures that show love.
When you love someone, showing that love to them is not only in the words and gifts but in the little everyday things that mean more than they seem. You don’t need to rent a horse-drawn carriage. A hundred lit candles isn’t the only way to show your love.
Love is grown out of the everyday. Love is formed through the little looks and feelings. Why not show it that way? In fact, these small gestures that show love can be more impactful than the big romantic gestures you see in movies and romance novels.
Why small gestures that show love matter
Big gestures leave a big impact. If your partner plans a surprise vacation to your dream destination, that will stay with you. You’ll always think about that. But, what about once that vacation is over? Do they support you? Do they listen to you? And do they remember the small things you mention?
Big gestures are certainly nice. They aren’t what sustains a relationship. The small gestures that couples share every day are what keep you happy in your relationship.
When you take the time to do and notice these small gestures that show love, you appreciate your partner and how well they really know you.
For a little personal anecdote, I once dated a guy who was all about the romantic gestures. It was sweet but missed the mark. He would light candles and set up his hot tub with mimosas. He would plan out this whole evening thinking it was so romantic. But he lacked the small gestures that showed love.
I hate hot tubs. I can’t drink orange juice. And I don’t drink alcohol. Although from afar, this seems like a sweet romantic night to share, it didn’t show love to me. It felt more disappointing that he didn’t know these basic things about me.
My current boyfriend, however, isn’t romantic. We don’t do candlelight or big fancy dates, but the small gestures that show love happen every day.
He always turns on the captions for me when we watch TV. He knows I hate the heat, so he turns up the A/C when I’m in the car. And he messages me articles about things he knows I’m interested in.
These little things let me know he’s thinking of me, knows me, and cares about me every day. And they mean so much more than one standout night.
Small gestures that show love
Whether you haven’t picked up on all the little things that your partner does or are struggling with your own, here are some small gestures that show love.
#1 Offering before being asked. Of course, communication is key to any healthy relationship, but a partner that offers to help or do something for you before being asked shows you how deep your connection is.
For instance, I hate driving. But my boyfriend and I live pretty far apart. Recently I wasn’t feeling good enough to make the trip. Before I even said anything, he called me and said he would come to me. I was so shocked that he just offered to change plans and go out of his way before I could even suggest it.
#2 Bringing you your coffee. Remembering your partner’s coffee order shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it is. Whether it is coffee or tea or just your favorite snack from the convenience store, your partner remembering that says more than you might initially think.
#3 Remembering your preferences. I’ve often repeated the fact that I don’t eat meat to some people in my life. It isn’t that hard of a thing to remember. When my boyfriend remembered after telling him just once, it was refreshing.
If your partner remembers you like it cool in the room at night, that you enjoy your eggs a certain way, or that you hate having the window down in the car, it doesn’t mean they have a good memory. They took the time to remember because of you.
#4 Finding a movie you’ll both enjoy. It is great to take turns watching movies or shows that may lean towards your taste or your partner’s. But when they take the time to find a movie that you both would enjoy, it just adds a bit more meaning to movie night.
#5 Sharing something you’re interested in. It is completely normal for you and your significant other to have varying interests. They may not really care for your obsession with Disney or cars, but when they know you care and take the time to talk to you about it or share something they heard, it is effort put in for you.
#6 Asking about your friends. Most decent couples share time with each other’s friends. On a regular basis, you may not think about your partner’s friends unless they bring them up. When your partner asks about them or even initiates plans with your friends or family, it says a lot about how your relationship is.
#7 Taking your opinions into consideration. My boyfriend doesn’t have to ask me what I think about his clothes. Since we’ve been together, he sends me a link for my opinion before ordering something. I know that he doesn’t have to, but I find it so sweet. He cares about my opinion on things as minor as his pants to more meaningful like what to get his mom for her birthday.
#8 Hugging you longer. Couples hug and embrace. But, when your partner just grabs hold of you just a few seconds longer than normal, it deepens your connection. When you’ve had a rough day instead of just pulling you in for a quick squeeze, they really grasp you. They want you to know they are there.
#9 Putting up pictures of you. I dated someone for about four years. Not once did they post a photo of us or put one up in their room. This is something small. But, when you have a partner proud to be with you, they want to share your relationship with their loved ones, whether online or in their home.
When my boyfriend sent me a photo of a framed picture of us at his desk at work, I was so touched by a small gesture.
#10 Talking about the future. In a relationship, we fall into a pattern. You go on dates and watch movies. When you talk about the future with the other person in mind and consider what you want together, it shows not just love but long-lasting love.
#11 Accepting help. Accepting help is hard for a lot of people, especially in a relationship. Even accepting help opening a jar or figuring out a work problem can feel like defeat. However, when you or your partner let go of that control and ask for help or advice, it shows a vulnerability that is only seen in deep relationships.
#12 Avoiding your phones when together. Our phones are a big portion of our days. When you are having time with your partner, keep your phones away. It isn’t just about giving each other distraction-free attention but enjoying their company. Make bonding a priority.
#13 Listen. Sometimes the small gestures that show love are not about action but about inaction. Listening is one of the most meaningful things you can do in a relationship. You don’t have to fix things or offer sage wisdom or even cheer them up. A listening ear says so much.
These small gestures that show love could be what your relationship is missing… or just what you haven’t noticed.