Little things add up to a lot, so if your lady love ever cheats on you, there’s probably more than one reason why she went through with it.
Most women aren’t programmed to simply drop their pants for any hot piece of ass that crosses their path, especially not if they’re in a truly satisfying relationship. They know that there’s too much to lose, and that adultery is just not worth it. More often than not, only absolute desperation will drive women to cheat.
In my humble opinion, infidelity shouldn’t be tolerated at all. If a person wants to stray, then there’s no point being in a relationship, and it would be better for everyone involved to just break things off. However, sometimes, it isn’t as easy as that. Breakups are messy, and divorces are expensive. There are joint bank accounts, mortgages, kids, pets and gossipy family members to think about.
Also, there are situations whereby even if she cheats, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you and doesn’t want to make it work. Perhaps all she wants is a little attention from a man who won’t shit on everything. Perhaps she’s just dabbling in a little payback. Perhaps she’s bored. No matter her reasons, you have a part to play in all of this. She wouldn’t go out and cheat if you had nothing to do with it. More often than not, it’s not just a matter of what you do, it’s also a matter of what you don’t do.
No matter what you say or think, there’s no denying that you can partly blame yourself for lending a hand in the matter. I’m not saying that it’s entirely your fault, but you must man up and admit that your behavior plays a part in her infidelity.
What guys do to make women cheat
I’ve personally been in this situation, and I’m not proud of what I’ve done. Hopefully others will learn from the mistakes that I’ve made. Here are 11 things that men do *and don’t do* that can drive a woman to seek solace in another man’s arms, or pants, for that matter.
#1 Put yourself first. There’s nothing wrong with being concerned about yourself, but if you’re in a relationship, you must consider your partner’s opinions and feelings. It cannot always be about you, even if you think you deserve it. Try not to put yourself first all the time.
An ex of mine epitomizes this point. He was only part of our team when it involved doing something that he wanted. When it came to me and what I wanted, he scoffed at everything I laid out on the table, and showed no interest in even making an effort.
He displayed selfishness at its very worst, and it certainly drove a wedge between us. He was under this insane impression that everything he wanted was the best option, and everything I wanted was a bad idea. Once is bad enough, but if you’re like him and display this horrible tendency on a regular basis, it’s only a matter of time before she walks away or cheats.
#2 Make no effort to share interests. This point is closely linked to the one above, but with subtle differences. If you make no effort to partake in an activity that she adores, then there’s no way you’re going to come out on top. The very least you can do is give her the chance to convince you to try it out.
All she wants is for you to show an interest in things that she’s passionate about. I’m not talking about stupid “hobbies” like getting manicures and shopping. Those who think these are hobbies should be shot, but I digress.
A good example I can give you is me loving to volunteer. From helping organize fundraising walks to making bimonthly trips to the local shelter, I’ve dabbled in everything. Not once did the man I was with back then offer to follow me on one of my volunteer excursions. As hard as I tried to convince him to show up for at least one event, he didn’t even bother to feign interest.
It was always a flat out “No, I’m not interested,” or “No, I don’t want to waste my weekend doing that.” I know it may seem like I’m exaggerating, but I kid you not. He was that huge of a jerk, and those exact words came out from his mouth.
#3 Pay no attention to her. When you brush her aside for “more important” things like work, your friends, your hobbies and so on, you are inadvertently pushing her to cheat. No matter how strong and independent they are, women love being showered with attention. They like knowing that you care.
A woman tends to ponder on the point of being with a man who doesn’t show her any interest. All she has to do is look around, and there will be men falling all over themselves to be a part of her life. Sure, she has to weed out the losers, but at the end of the day, it’s not that difficult for her to find a replacement.
#4 Don’t listen to her. Another reason that may drive her to cheat is your inability to listen to her. I don’t mean the petty stuff about not putting the toilet seat down or treating the hallway like your laundry basket. I’m talking about the big stuff like her hopes, fears, expectations, and so on.
The thing you need to know about women is that the stereotype of them wanting to talk about their feelings is relatively spot on. Women tend to reach out a lot more than men. This means that they consciously let you know that they’re unhappy, or at the very least, hint at it. If you don’t listen to what she says, you’ll never realize that something is wrong, and her leaving or cheating will come as a huge surprise to you and no one else.
#5 Show no support. You have to support her no matter how silly you secretly think her goals and projects are. For example, my ex *the same one I keep referring to in this article* was super unsupportive of me when I first started my chemical-free lifestyle. I made it a point to get rid of all the chemicals in the house and started making my own all-natural cleaners, detergents and so on. I even went so far as to start making my own soaps and lotions.
He refused to try anything I made. Keep in mind that I didn’t force anything on him. All I asked was for him to dab a little homemade lotion onto his forearm and give me some comments on the smell, texture and so on. His utter refusal to support something that I was so passionate about raked up points in the why-I-need-to-leave-him-now department.
#6 Threaten to leave. Another thing that will drive her into another man’s arms is if you’re the type of man who regularly threatens her. I don’t mean threaten to beat her up or anything like that. I’m talking about emotional threats. My ex regularly spewed out stuff like, “This is my place, and if you’re not happy you can pack your stuff and leave.” Another favorite line of his was, “I’m sick of arguing, and I’m sick of this relationship.” When I look back at the way he treated me, I’m disappointed that I didn’t leave much sooner.
#7 Demand for constant equality. Women love being independent, but they also like being pampered and doted on. Keep in mind that not all women expect to be taken care of, but it would be nice if you took care of certain things without making her feel bad about it.
For example, you may make a certain amount, but it doesn’t make her any less of a worthy partner if she doesn’t earn a similar amount. If you live together, there’s nothing wrong with you taking care of the bills or groceries and not have to be such a stickler when it comes to splitting everything in half. Same goes for dates.
Be a gentleman, and treat her more often, won’t you? There’s no need to demand for constant equality, especially when you have the means to offer her a comfortable life.
#8 Belittle her accomplishments. No matter how busy you are, you need to support her even if she’s terrible at something. I felt minuscule when I was with my ex. He never took the initiative to read my articles, no matter how often I hounded him. Nothing worked. I used to send him links, and even went so far as to shove my published pieces in his face. Even after all that, he never read more than a couple of pieces.
Unlike what he did, you need to offer your sweetheart constructive criticism if she’s terrible at something and no matter what, never belittle her accomplishments and passions. She’ll be likely to go out and be attracted to another man who’s more enthusiastic about her passions.
#9 Try to change the way she looks. One definite thing that will drive her to cheat is trying to change the way she looks. It’s fine if you want to give her fun suggestions on what to wear or encourage her to be healthy. I have a friend who let her boyfriend dress her up every weekend for two months straight, just for fun. Surprisingly, it worked out really well and she looked fabulous.
Everything’s fine and dandy if both parties are on board, but if you try to change the way she looks, like telling her she looks fat or that she needs new boobs, you are in the wrong, and she will retaliate. She will actively seek out not just compliments and flattery from other men to boost her self-esteem, she will also make it a point to find someone else who loves the way she looks.
#10 Don’t satisfy her physically. Of course, one of the top reasons why women cheat is because you don’t satisfy her physically. Whether you don’t have the time to do the deed, don’t put in enough effort or simply don’t do a good job and end up doing the same thing over and over again, they all count as reasons why she may run off into the sunset with someone else.
Combat this by keeping things fresh in and out of the bedroom. From introducing toys to your play time to initiating sexual escapades meant solely to pleasure her, do all you can to keep her satisfied if you want her to stay.
#11 Don’t satisfy her emotionally. Besides being physically satisfied, women also need to be taken care of emotionally. Be sure to indulge her in long and drawn out conversations about her feelings every so often. She will definitely appreciate the effort that you put into helping her solve her problems and make her feel like a special woman.
At the end of the day, I realize that this is a two way street. You may very well run off and cheat on her if she doesn’t treat you well. The trick to a lasting relationship is to always respect one another and to always put yourselves in each other’s shoes. Only then will you be able to gauge just how your partner feels. Remember that relationships are hard work and if you’re not willing to put in the time and effort, you’re better off being single.
Despite the fact that she’s in the wrong for cheating instead of breaking up with you first, there are still some things you may have done to drive her to seek out another lover. Avoiding the points above will help you keep your woman happy, satisfied and faithful.