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22 Feb

Turn Offs for Girls: 32 Worst Things to Say to a Girl After Sex

It’s true there isn’t a manual for what to say to a woman after you’ve had sex with her, but some turn offs for girls are just a matter of common sense.

Knowing what to say to a woman after sex is just as important as what you say before and during the act. Saying the wrong thing during post-coital bliss almost guarantees you look like a douchebag, and ruins your chances of a round two. These turn offs for girls will surely get you kicked out of the bedroom.

Being tactful in your words and thinking before you speak helps, make sure you don’t make the same mistake as some of the guys who’ve coined these sayings below.

Turn offs for girls – Things not to say to a woman after sex

This list is in no particular order, because it’s pretty hard to distinguish bad from worse.

#1 “When was the last time you got checked?” Whether she has a funky smell going on, you’ve had a bad experience, or you’re just a hypochondriac, this phrase is guaranteed to hurt a girl’s feelings. She might even think you’re the one with a STD, and you’re trying to pin it on her… bad move.

#2 “I think the condom broke.” This panic inducing phrase is one of the worst things a woman could hear, especially if you’re just friends with benefits.

#3 “Was that the best you ever had?” This proves you’re an egomaniac who needs constant reassurance, or you’re so cocky you believe you’re God’s gift to women. No girl wants to answer that phrase unless she volunteers the information willingly. Don’t fish for compliments.

#4 “Do you smell that?” Nothing could make her go from feeling like a steamy sex goddess to instantly insecure and anxious. If she also knows she smells fine down there, you’re only making yourself look like the culprit.

#5 “Can I use your mouthwash?” While this could be seemingly innocent, you’re either making her feel like you were so repulsed after making out with her that you need to rinse your mouth, or your breath stinks. Either way it’s a lose-lose.

#6 “Sorry…” *hangs head in shame*. No one likes a martyr who plays the victim after coming too quickly, or simply didn’t get a girl where she needed to be. If you want her to give you sympathy, it definitely won’t inspire her to want to sleep with you again. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t make you look like a sex bomb or cover up a bad performance.

#7 “That was better than I expected!” This leads her to believe you expected her to be bad in bed… point blank. She won’t find this to be a compliment, unless she was just as surprised herself.

#8 “You’re a lot cleaner than other girls I’ve hooked up with.” This cringe-worthy praise puts all sorts of images in her mind about where your man part has been before it got between her legs. Her reaction will be panic, anxiety, and the urge to shower multiple times.

#9 “So you’re on birth control, right?” This implies a woman should probably consider Plan B if she wasn’t planning a pregnancy and isn’t on the pill. If you slipped up, it’s better to talk to her about it, rather than bluntly assume she’s got it covered.

#10 “You didn’t tell me you were a squirter!” Not all women are proud of their ability to squirt during sex, some are insecure about it. Bringing it up that way only makes her feel like a spectacle, rather than a person with feelings.

#11 “I think I’m in love with you.” This is just something you don’t say after sex. Maybe after a few good dates, but not if you’ve just had sex for the first time or are just friends with benefits.

#12 “Have you booked a cab yet?” This is just plain insulting. At least sit and talk for a minute before making it known you want a quick hit and run.

#13 “I’m not really into cuddling.” She may not be into cuddling or may not want to cuddle with you, so there’s no need to put out the disclaimer. She only assumes you’re full of yourself, and she’ll regret getting with you in the first place.

#14 “I was worried that condom wouldn’t work!” She’ll wonder where you got it, or if it’s older than she is.

#15 “So what are your thoughts on abortion?” Otherwise known as “I may have accidentally impregnated you, and I want to make sure you’re okay with terminating the pregnancy.” If she’s a pro-life activist, this could cause a bad reaction.

#16 “What was your name again?” Nothing feels more like a slap in a girl’s face than having a great sex session, and finding out she’s just a nameless, pretty face. If you don’t remember her name but you found your way around her body just fine, don’t kill the vibe by asking her name right after sex.

#17 “I’m so glad I lost my virginity to you.” If she didn’t figure it out while you were having sex, and you didn’t give her a heads up beforehand, she definitely doesn’t want to know she was your first right after you’ve done the deed.

#18 “It’s time to go.” Kicking her out of your place right after sex makes her feel like a tramp and completely disrespected.

#19 “On a scale of 1 to 10… ” No girl appreciates having to evaluate your performance right after sex. You look like you have a frail ego that needs boosting, and you were just using her as a conquest.

#20 “I hope I caught all of that” *checks webcam*. This couldn’t be more horrifying for a girl to hear you’ve been recording a sex tape without her permission.

#21 “So this is between us, right?” Having to make it clear the sex you just had was a big secret makes her feel like you’re hiding something, like a wife or a girlfriend.

#22 Nothing *falls asleep*. She might be flattered she put you to bed, or annoyed you passed out on top of her.

#23 “That was amazing, Melissa!” …but that isn’t her name.

#24 “Sex makes me really emotional” *cries*. That makes everything go from zero to weird quicker than she’ll go running out the door.

#25 “I lasted a whole half an hour” *checks the time*.  She’ll wonder if you want a sticker or a medal for that, plus she might not think it was worth any applause.

#26 “That was almost the best I’ve ever had.” You’re better off saying nothing than telling her she’s “almost” the best at anything sex related.

#27 “Was that your first time?” If you want to make a girl feel like an amateur, and average in bed, ask her if it’s her first ride on the train.

#28 “So how much do I owe you?” Unless she’s working by the hour, this is deeply insulting, even as a joke.

#29 “Thanks, I got you next time!” If your performance was bad enough you feel the need to make it up to her, show it in actions instead of words. If you’re lucky enough to get a second chance, that is.

#30 “You’re even better than your sister.” This is just not something you say, even if you did sleep with her sister, another close family member, or close friend.

#31 “I see your mom taught you well.” This is just as bad as the last point, if not considerably worse.

#32 “Same time next week?” She’s not a scheduled play toy, she’s a woman with her own needs and her own schedule. Don’t assume she’s ready to put you in a weekly time slot.

Saying these things to a woman after sex is sure to make her disappear before you can even ask for round two. Don’t make the same mistake twice if you’ve already blurted out any of the above phrases. 

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