Have you ever thought that sex is overrated? We seem to be living in a sex-crazed world, but is it really as important as we think?
Sex is everywhere – in television, movies, ads, history, and even in food! *I’m looking at you, Barefoot Contessa!* So, it’s not surprising that some people have had enough of it, or are just too sick of putting it on a pedestal. There’s a lot of pressure looming over the word “sex,” especially since there are thousands of connotations surrounding it. It’s physical. It’s emotional. It’s mental. It’s a rite of passage. It’s a prize. It’s not that great. Sex is overrated.
No matter which way you look at it, sex is still being discussed. But sex is not always a good thing these days. It can be bad, and it can be unappealing. At the same time, it’s still a practical part of human nature, and it will never go out of style. But there has been a change in meaning and relevance over time.
Honestly, I am over the whole *sex is the most awesome thing ever* phase, but I’m also still at the *sex is one of the most beautiful things in the world* phase. So, which is it? It might be that sex is overrated. Or it might not.
Who says sex is overrated?
Lots of people, apparently. But you have to ask yourself, why would they say that? What made them change their minds? Here’s what I found about why people think sex is overrated.
#1 When sex becomes a necessity in relationships. There are people who can live without sex, and there are people who can live with little sex. In actuality, everyone can live without recreational sex for a very long time. Unfortunately, no matter what kind of romantic relationship you are in, sex is usually a requirement.
The timeline may differ from person to person, but the only way that you can forego sex forever is if you choose to be asexual for the rest of your life. Sex is overrated when it takes precedence over the emotional connection between two people. It’s even worse when a couple thinks that sex is needed to build an emotional connection. Reality check: it’s not.
#2 When the reward is not worth the effort. Sex takes a physical toll on a person’s body. Even if you’re just lying there while your partner does all the work, your energy will be sucked out of you by the time you orgasm. It’s how the body works, and you can’t escape that fact.
Apart from that, there is also the emotional and social effort you need to put into getting to have sex. You can’t just screw someone out of nowhere – that’s illegal, by the way – you have to work at building a physical attraction, even if you just need an hour or so.
When it turns out that the sex isn’t that good, or if something went wrong in the middle of it, then it becomes this uneventful situation that you wished never happened in the first place. If it happens too much, then sex is overrated.
#3 When the purpose does not fit what a person wants. Another time when sex is overrated is when you expect a certain outcome, but you are left with something much different. People have sex for different reasons, such as getting pregnant, discovering one’s sexuality, fulfilling a physical need, etc. If a person thinks that there is an alternative to fulfilling those needs, that’s the time when they start to realize that sex is overrated.
In my opinion, the most challenging need that sex can fulfill is cultivating an extreme emotional bond with the person you love. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s how we arrive at how sex is actually not that overrated.
Sex is not overrated… for some people
The beauty of sex is that it can be done by any two people, regardless of their gender, race, size, or shape. If you really want to do it, you can do it. Thank goodness for sexual liberation, right? But there is a point when sex starts to become something that’s expected and not worked for.
That is when it truly starts to become overrated. It starts happening frequently, without any thought or investment in the act or emotion that goes into it. Yeah, you get an orgasm. Sometimes. So what? That’s not what’s so great about sex.
Sex is awesome when it’s done with someone you love. It’s even more awesome when you take the time to learn the technicalities of it all. To give you a better understanding, here are some of the reasons why sex is not as overrated as it seems:
#1 Sex can make people happier. Seriously. Having sex allows the brain to release happy hormones called serotonin and dopamine. Not only that, the physical activity also releases endorphins – another type of happy hormone. Sex concocts a veritable cocktail of happy juices, but only if it’s done correctly.
Although it is true that dopamine and serotonin levels rise in the arousal state, it can just as easily come down if the act is not culminated with an orgasm. Aside from that, if you’re not turned on, no happy hormones will come. So what’s the lesson here? Learn how to have good sex.
Sadly, this might not be the case for people who are unable to achieve orgasm *anorgasmia*. Fortunately, dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin can be acquired through other means, such as exercising, laughing, and spending quality time with your loved ones.
#2 Sex helps people bond – regardless of their attraction to each other. Another hormone that’s released during sex is oxytocin. This is also called the “love hormone.” Oxytocin is what allows lovers to bond in the initial phase of the sexual relationship.
It can be hard to take advantage of oxytocin with casual sex because you need to cultivate an emotional bond in order for it to work.
This is why people who have regular sex – researchers suggest doing it once a week – may have a longer and maybe even more permanent relationships. However, they still need to work on their communication and emotional connection in order to make the most out of their oxytocin high.
#3 Sex is a powerful act that encompasses all walks of life. Having sex is not just about getting it on. It is also about learning the limits and value of your body. And I’m not just talking about your genitalia. Sex also influences how you think, how you live, how you act, and how you treat other people. This is the reason why so many cultures have different perceptions and rules about sex. The existence of sex allows us to create boundaries that either hinder us or allow us to have sex.
For example, some cultures and religions prefer to treat sex as a rite of passage. Because of this, they have inadvertently taught their followers and people how to value something to the point that it’s put on a pedestal. Although the idea feels overrated, for many people, it is still important.
Apart from that, talking about sex has opened so many boundaries between these cultures. Admittedly, it was the western world that introduced the liberalism that exploded the sexual revolution. But it also paved the way for both men and women to discover the true value of sex and what it means to the person that they love.
Did you think that sex is overrated? Did this feature change your mind, one way or another? Tell us in the comments below!