The walk of shame is every girl’s nightmare of a morning after. Use these 8 tips to make your walk of shame feel more respectable and less insulting.
If you’re a girl who likes living on the fun side of Saturday night, the early morning walk of shame on a Sunday morning may be an all too familiar affair.
Hey, I’ve been there often too.
What’s life without a bit of wild fun now and then, right?
I mean, we don’t stay young forever.
Perhaps, someday we young things will start to get bored of these mindless sexy nights.
But that’s not today.
As embarrassing as the walk of shame may be, it’s almost always worth it. Unless you’ve shacked up with a guy who’s so embarrassing that you’d want to get swallowed into oblivion.
The walk of shame
The walk of shame almost always invites attention.
You’ve got joggers and morning walkers all around, and there you are, walking in an eye catching skirt that rides up your ass, a stagger and smudged mascara.
Along with attention, it also invites a lot of stares from women and drools and catcalls from men.
Yes, it’s annoying. But it’s insulting only if you feel insulted.
Every time I’ve had to head out on a walk of shame, I feel confident and happy, like I’ve accomplished something the others only wish they had *no, I’m not talking about STDs*.
The walk of shame doesn’t have to make you cringe. In fact, I’ve had several walks out of a guy’s place the next morning completely hiding the fact that I’m in the middle of a walk of shame.
How to make the walk of shame feel more respectable
If you want to hide the fact that you’re walking back home after shaking the bed with a guy all night, in attire that’s bare minimum and definitely inappropriate for an early morning, just use these 8 easy tips. It’ll make that walk of shame easier to handle, and you’ll feel great about yourself too.
#1 Better safe than sorry. As exciting as going home with a perfect stranger may be, avoid it. It’s just not worth the risk. He could turn out to be a serial killer. If you have no idea about a guy or if none of your friends know anything about him, completely avoid the idea of letting him take you home, especially if you’ve had one too many shooters at the club. Expect your friends to do you a favor and hold you back when they think you’re going home with the wrong guy.
#2 Don’t sneak out in the morning. Sneaking out in the morning may work in the movies, but it’s not a nice thing to do in real life. I’ve sneaked out a couple of times and I’ve felt terrible about it.
Firstly, it makes you feel like a whore working on a timer. Secondly, it makes you feel more insulted and ashamed about the whole one night stand thing. Wake him up if you’re up early and he seems like a nice guy, or prod him with a stick and tell him you’re leaving.
#3 It’s okay to be late. Never rush out early in the morning. It may feel like the right thing to do, but it never is. You may be late for a prior appointment. But spend a few minutes to compose yourself and collect whatever you’ve dropped behind in his place. If you leave in a hurried confusion, you’d be more disoriented than you can imagine. Spending fifteen minutes more in his place is better than walking out like a disheveled prostitute after a busy night.
#4 Carry a few basic essentials. Your basic essentials are like condoms. You may not have sex every night, but you still make sure you carry it, just in case. Just like a condom, there are a few things you need to carry with you to a party, just in case you hook up with a cute guy you fancy. Carry a jacket or a coat, enough money to pay for a cab *plastic is no good here*, a pair of sunglasses and your essential minimal makeup. It’ll make your morning walk of shame easier and well concealed.
#5 Spend a few minutes in the bathroom. This is important. I’m not a morning person, but I do have regular morning routines. Don’t be in a hurry to leave. If you think the guy you left in bed is embarrassing, wait till you walk out on a busy street in your worst bed head look.
Always spend a few minutes in the bathroom to clean yourself up for an as-fresh-as-possible morning look. Use your finger to brush your teeth, untangle your hair, splash some water on your face, dab on some makeup and cover up any smudges. You’ll look a lot better when you’re walking down the street.
#6 Call a cab. If the guy seems nice, ask him to drive you home if it’s not an inconvenience. No nice guy will decline it. But if he’s too drunk to remember your name or if he isn’t moving, call a friend who lives close by and ask them to pick you up. You could always make it up to your friend by returning the favor.
#7 Tell him exactly how you feel. Okay, so you’ve spent the night with a guy. Are you happy about it or are you annoyed with yourself? If you don’t want to see him again or if you want to erase the earlier night from your memory, drop a few hints to let him know about it. No matter how you feel, make sure you tell the guy about it, be it a happy feeling or otherwise. One night stands have a way of making us feel like we have unfinished business.
And if you don’t tell the guy exactly what’s on your mind, you may end up walking down the street with your hands over your face wondering how to get through the whole ordeal.
#8 Don’t be ashamed. You had sex the earlier night. You go girl! That’s a great thing you did. You had a wild night and you had fun. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. A walk of shame is shameful only if you feel ashamed about it. Lift your chin up, smile radiantly and walk down the street with your head held high.
And perhaps you should remember this. All the others who stare at you when you’re walking down the street fell asleep with their fingers for company. All the girls secretly envy you. All the guys secretly wish they could have spent the night with you.
Now how on earth can that ever be a walk of shame?
So the next time you’re lying in a guy’s bed the morning after and wondering how to get back to your place, just remember these 8 tips. It’ll definitely make your walk of shame a lot less insulting and a lot more respectable.