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7 Oct

How to Learn From the Rejections You’ve Faced

If you’ve been rejected by a girl one too many times, it might be time to start learning from your mistakes by using these tried and tested tips.

The guys who constantly get rejected by girls can be easily categorized as really nice or really unattractive. Don’t get me wrong. Physical attraction is not the only factor when it comes to dating. A guy can be unattractive because they’re sloppy, rude, shy, mean, etc. The list goes on and on.

A girl can reject a guy for any number of reasons. If a guy keeps getting rejected, it may be because of the same reasons that he has never been aware of. If you want to change the way girls react to your attention, take a cue from the women who have rejected you in the past.

Who are the guys who always get rejected?

Not everyone follows the same pattern when they approach women. It all depends on what they’ve learned while growing up. Some men follow the patterns of their friends, fathers and other male figures in their lives, while some follow the rules that society and the media has set.

Because of this, a list of constantly rejected guys has cropped up and we are here to tell you who they are:

#1 The best friend. The concept of the platonic male best friend has been the biggest pet peeves of guys who want relationships. It’s become so rampant that people have even coined a term for what happens to a guy in this type of situation: Friend zoned. A guy gets friend zoned when the girl he likes starts to see him as a brother or just a friend that she thinks she’ll never be attracted to. Things can change, but the rejection from a friend can still sting more than a strangers’.

#2 The guy who’s too nice. This is slightly different from the best friend, in the sense that a girl doesn’t see you as a friend. The problem is that this guy puts all his cards on the table, without letting the girl meet him halfway.

Giving the girl you like everything she wants is all well and good, but some will see it as a sign of desperation or coming on too strong. Try to be nice, but don’t offer her the world, if she hasn’t even agreed to go out on a date yet.

#3 The guy who thinks he’s too good for everybody. Confidence is sexy, but arrogance is not. No matter how perfect you are in your eyes, girls will only see you as a narcissist. Women want a man who is considerate and humble. Wait for the girl you like to discover the good things about you instead of shoving those traits down her throat.

#4 The clueless guy. This guy has everything he needs to get a wonderful woman in his life. The only problem is that he isn’t looking for the right girl. He’s the type of guy who always ends up with women who are likely to cheat or leave him. He’s not unlucky. He just refuses to acknowledge that some girls are not worth pursuing.

#5 The actually unattractive guy. Sometimes, the reason why girls keep rejecting you is because you’re not making an effort at all. This type of guy is the one who had a really attractive girlfriend once or a slew of very unattractive girls and thinks that he can always get a girl without making an effort. An unattractive guy can be someone who doesn’t consider his physical appearance at all, has a bad attitude or exudes an air of false confidence.

The first step you can take to avoid getting rejected is not being any of these guys. Men who constantly get rejected cannot defend themselves by saying that they didn’t do anything wrong. You wouldn’t be so unlucky if you were doing something right.

What can you do to stop being rejected?

Learn from your mistakes. Most of the time, a girl will give you a reason if she dumps you. Even if it is a lie, take it as a hint that you need to change something about the way you operate. This is not to say that you need to change who you are. You just have to adjust the way you approach women.

If a woman does point out that you are doing something wrong i.e. being clingy, messy, desperate, arrogant, smelly, or whatever, believe them when they say it. You need to stop doing the things that make other human beings dislike you.

#1 Did you check your reflection? Do not compare your look to a GQ spread, but do take note of the things that are not acceptable in public. Is your hair greasy due to a lack of a shower? Do your pits smell because you’re wearing a shirt that you haven’t washed in weeks? Did you brush your teeth? Just make sure that you look decent and neat. If a girl likes a messy guy, then lucky you. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t like those types of girls.

#2 Recount the things that you said. Replay the conversations you had with the girls who rejected you. The stupidity of callous remarks usually becomes obvious, once they are pondered in the confines of your home. If you recall saying anything offensive, unnecessarily cheesy or prying, try not to say those things ever again.

#3 Were you a gentleman? A lot of guys think that this is not an issue for the modern woman, but it still is. Girls still want a little bit of chivalry in their lives. If they weren’t attracted enough to you before, opening a door or pulling out a chair can do wonders for your rapport with a date.

#4 What did you wear? If you went to a fancy restaurant wearing board shorts because that’s how you roll, then maybe there is a reason why women don’t like going out with you. It’s good to be yourself, but if you want to attract the majority of women, you have to look your best every time you take them out. Wear what’s appropriate, and always make sure that you look neat.

#5 Did you pay the bill? Sorry, guys. You are still entitled to pay for the first round when you’re out on a first date. This is negotiable if the girl asked you out. However, try to offer to pay even then. This is not about toeing the line between feminism and tradition. It is about impressing a girl reasonably and showing her that you want to take care of her. If she turns out to be a feminist, ask first and see how she reacts.

#6 Did you come on too strong? There are a lot of ways that a guy can cross boundaries without realizing it. Each girl is different, and you have to respect her space before attempting to do anything remotely forward. Do not touch her unless it’s obvious she will allow it. Do not make lewd jokes or seduce her when the mood doesn’t suit it. Just be aware of the usual social cues so that you don’t inadvertently offend your date.

#7 Were you talking about yourself too much? When you first meet a girl, it’s understandable that you would have to tell them your name, your job and what you’re doing on this lovely night. It is unreasonable, however, for you to give her a boring monologue about your life. Enjoy the conversation. Ask more questions about her. Listen to what she is saying. A good conversation always goes a long way.

#7 How was your tone of voice? There are different ways to turn a girl off just by using your voice. If you sound braggy, even a simple conversation about coffee will turn her off. If you sound dark and dreary, that is the impression that she will get from you. Before you approach a girl, make sure that you feel good. Don’t be nervous. Just relax and make her smile.

#8 Are you a comedian? If you are not, your jokes may have turned her off. Being funny is not a rare thing, but some people don’t have that sort of talent. Just because you read somewhere that opening with a joke can help ease you into an introduction with a girl, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way you can talk to her. If you want to make her laugh, make sure that your joke really is funny. Use one that made your female friends laugh. Guy jokes are a little different and sometimes a tad more offensive.

#9 Did you ask her to marry you? Or something like it? Don’t discuss the option of a long term relationship before the dessert tray arrives. It makes you seem desperate and needy. Yes, you want a girlfriend. She understands that, but saying it out loud during the initial stage of your date can scare a girl away. She wants to feel you out first. Talking about things like that makes it seem like you’re asking her to be your girlfriend on the first date.

#10 Is she worth it? Sometimes, it’s not you. This is when you decided to ask a girl out, knowing that she sleeps around with a lot of guys for validation, has cheated numerous times on her past boyfriends, has personal issues that she refuses to deal with and has an overall unattractive personality. You chose the girl who is most likely to reject you. Choose one that won’t this time.

#11 Are you too close? If you realized that you like your friend and want to date her, ask her out immediately. Don’t wait for her to find another boyfriend. Don’t wait for the perfect time. Don’t orchestrate a big gesture that you’re not sure she’s going to appreciate. Just be yourself and tell her how you feel.

In situations like these, you have to consider whether you want to risk the friendship or your personal feelings in the matter. Either way, you can’t continue to pine over your friend and be surprised that she rejected you if you asked her out after 8 years of being BFF’s.

#12 Did you think you were sexy? Whoever said that you can date a girl by propositioning sex or something like it should read this article. A lot of TV shows and movies portray guys seducing a girl before asking her out, and those guys end up being successful. That is because they are actors playing a part.

The real world doesn’t allow you to come on to a girl and expect her to appreciate your efforts. Be classy about how you approach the girl you like. Say hi. Say something witty. Just don’t compliment her body with your eyes or ask her in a sultry voice if she wants a drink.

#13 Did you send random photos of yourself? If you thought that was cute, then you are sorely mistaken. This may be okay for high school students, but adults have to know when to draw the line on information sharing. Some women may find it cute, but some think it’s weird, especially if they’re not attracted to you yet. If she asks for your selfie, send one. JUST REMEMBER: This does not mean that you can send a picture of your penis afterward.

This list is just the tip of the iceberg, but they are the most common mistakes that guys make when making a first impression. Don’t change who you are, if you think you’re awesome, but do check if the girl you like is in sync with your point of view.

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