We all know a narcissist or two. You probably try to stay away from them, but sometimes you just can’t. So, here is how to deal with a narcissist.
Being a narcissist sounds exhausting. Like, really. They’re completely obsessed with themselves, they lack empathy, and they believe the whole world revolves around them. See? I’m already exhausted just thinking about it.
But what’s even worse is if you know someone who is a narcissist. Sure, you can avoid them, but what if that person is your boss? Family member? See what I mean? You can’t always avoid people. So, in this case, you’ll have to have strategies in place to help you deal with narcissistic behavior.
How to deal with a narcissist
Trust me, they’ll drive you crazy if you don’t learn how to handle them. And you don’t want that to happen! It’s not always easy to figure out how to deal with a narcissist, but here are some tips to get you started.
#1 Is this person a narcissist? Are they really a narcissist? If you have a hunch that they may be, well, you should ask yourself some questions first.
Do they think the world revolved around them? Do they constantly need attention and compliments? Does the conversation always have to go back to them? Do they downplay your feelings? Do they handle criticism poorly?
If it’s a yes for all of these, well, then it’s a good chance that they’re a narcissist.
#2 Figure out what kind of narcissist they are. I know what you’re thinking, there are two kinds? Yes, there are. There are vulnerable narcissists and grandiose narcissists. Vulnerable narcissists show self-centeredness and appear to be self-absorbed because they’re weak and full of insecurity. Grandiose narcissists actually believe that they’re the next best thing to God. They think they’re just the most amazing human being to walk the Earth.
#3 Notice your emotions when around them. If you have to be around a narcissist, they probably annoy you to the core. However, you have to figure out why they’re making you feel this way. If you can recognize where your feelings are coming from, then you can change your outlook to calm these negative feelings down.
#4 Don’t try to change them. Okay, this is very important. Don’t become a narcissist by thinking you have the power to change a narcissist. They’re not going to change. So, stop Googling, “how to help a narcissist” because whatever advice pops up won’t work. How can you change someone who thinks they’re God? Have you seen Trump lately? Exactly.
#5 What is your relationship with them like? Now, this may suck and not be what you want to hear, but too bad. If they’re your boss, you don’t have much choice but to go along with what they say.
Narcissists don’t like being criticized, and they’ll eat you up if you challenge them. So, you need to see where you stand in their relationship – you may just have to kiss ass for a while.
#6 Get everything up front. The minute a narcissist gets what they want, they’ll ditch you. So, with that being said, you need to think ahead of the game and make sure you get what you want first.
In addition, make sure they pay up front as well. It may sound harsh in the beginning, but really, they’ll oddly respect you for it.
#7 Use your emotions intelligently. You need to make sure that you use your emotions intelligently. Because narcissists don’t feel guilt or shame, they don’t know boundaries. So, the best way to deal with this is to point out what people would think of their behavior. If you suggest that people will think poorly of them, they’ll be less likely do something inappropriate.
#8 Make sure you don’t get sucked in. Listen, to some extent, we all have narcissism in us. It’s just natural. However, if you’re hanging around a narcissist, make sure you don’t become one.
You have to practice empathy for others. This will keep you level-headed and grounded. Also, maybe writing, “I’m not God” on your bathroom mirror would be useful.
#9 Keep your expectations low. Narcissists are not going to come riding a horse to your house, picking you up with a rose in their mouth. I mean, they would if it socially benefited them. But don’t be mistaken, narcissists won’t go out of their way to help you in any case. Unless your death affected them negatively.
#10 Don’t rely on them. Unless they’re working with you, do not place any dependence on them. This is the best way to keep your distance from them and keep your emotions safe from their grasp. Or else you’ll spend your time trying to please them.
#11 Show them the benefits. If you need them to do something for you, the only way they’ll do it is if you show them the benefit of it. You need to convince them that by them helping you, they’ll look exceptionally good in the public eye. You’re going to have to stroke their ego. I know, it’s lame, but it has to be done.
#12 Stay positive. It’s very easy to be exhausted and emotionally drained by narcissists. However, you need to stay positive. If you’re annoyed, take some deep breaths. You’ll need to find something in your mind to help you stay bright and light-minded. If not, they’ll strip you of everything.
#13 Laugh. You don’t have to stay serious and stern around a narcissist. By all means, cracking jokes and laughing may be a great strategy for how to deal with a narcissist. Now, if they’re a grandiose narcissist, then this will work perfectly since they’ll find you entertaining.
Now that you know how to deal with a narcissist, try using these tips the next time you encounter a narcissist. It’ll save you a lot of energy… which you’ll appreciate.