Being rejected or unnoticed by the one you wanted most is heartbreaking. We are here to offer fool-proof steps to get over the one you never had.
We all have or all will experience the pain of disappointment when it comes to never getting the one we want. It can be hard because, let’s be honest, no one likes the feeling of rejection. The old saying goes that you cannot miss something that you never had. If so, then why does it suck so badly when we have to let someone we never had go?
How to move on from the one you never had
There is a reason for everything. Although you may never know why you couldn’t have the one you wanted, we are here to help you overcome it.
#1 Believe that someone better will come along. Sometimes, it can be considered a stroke of pure luck when we do not get what we want. That leaves room for something better to come into our lives. The key is to be patient, allowing the right someone to pop up in your life. It may feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, but what is pleasure without pain?
You have to believe that someone will come along and make you forget all about the one you never had. [In a friendship or pseudo relationship with the one you can’t have? Read: 16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship]
You should try to remain open to the possibility of love. You may be shutting out people who are potentially great for you by closing yourself off to dating and love. That special someone may not arrive with the snap of a finger—it may take a while. Just continue to be optimistic that they will arrive at the right time, and know that they will be well worth the wait.
#2 Realize that they were just not right for you. Everything we want in life may not be meant for us. This includes wanting someone who does not want us. You may have tried to make them notice you, or tried your hardest to make them see that they should be with you. However, if they do not want a relationship with you, you have to let them go. Again, it may not be easy to see the big picture at the time, but real love will never make you chase after it.
The right one will not play any games with you, will put in effort building a life with you, and will never leave you feeling unwanted. When you feel stifled or uneasy about something or someone, it is not right for you. The universe may be keeping you from someone who will do you more harm than good. Take it as a sign that you never had them, because they were just not right for you. [Check out: How to get over a crush and have fun doing it]
#3 Remember: life goes on. No matter what, life goes on. So, it didn’t work out the way you wanted to. Let it go and keep pressing forward. You must look on the bright side: it did not work out with one person so it could work out with the right person. Although it might feel like the end of the world when the person you love doesn’t feel the same way, we promise: it isn’t.
Try being grateful for everything else in your life, instead of wallowing in sadness because you did not get one person—out of millions—to be yours. You have the rest of your life to find love and settle down. Life will continue, and you will see that you are better off without them. The only true constant in life is change, and you must become comfortable with the ups and downs that dating will bring.
#4 Focus on yourself. Take the focus off of them and focus on you. Dig deep into your favorite hobbies, or start something you’ve always wanted to do. Take the time to understand what you do and do not want from a partner. This will help you be more selective when it comes to investing your time in someone. Take a trip or two to get a fresh perspective on everything. [Try: 11 tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
You can never go wrong when you invest in yourself and focus on changing yourself for the better. When you are being your authentic self and doing the things you love, someone will come into your life who shares the same interests. Love has a way of finding us when we are not looking. By focusing on yourself, you discover more things about yourself and you are able to explore the world on your own terms.
#5 Surround yourself with people who love you. Just because that person you never had did not love you does not mean you can neglect the ones who do. Surround yourself with family and friends who love you. This helps fill you with happiness, and helps you forget about the one you never had. The people who love you want to uplift you and show you that you are worthy of the love you seek. Nothing beats a night out with friends, or a family outing when you are going through something.
The more you give love and surround yourself with it, the more you attract it into your life. Remember to be thankful for the people you do have. Additionally, be thankful that you do not have to jump, scream, and yell for someone to pay attention to you. The people who truly love you want to be around you and want to be in your life. When you are sad about never having the one you wanted, try to embrace the ones who do want you, instead.
#6 Know that time heals all wounds. Finally, the best thing on your side is time. Time heals all wounds, because over time, you gain perspective and distance. Perspective will help you realize that you did not fit well together, anyway, and distance will remove the rose-colored glasses from your eyes.
Time helps us move along and changes us for the better. The situation will become a distant memory that you will look back on and maybe even laugh at. Over time, you will completely forget about them and the pain they caused you. You have to remind yourself that someone else is capable of seeing your worth, life goes on, and the pain will heal in time.
[Next, read: How to love again after being hurt]
The more you love yourself, the less time you have to focus on someone who does not reciprocate your feelings, and does not want to be with you. Allow time and self love to help you on your journey to get over the one you never had.