Sexy and confident, or embarrassingly emasculating? How do men feel about take-charge women, and do they like it when girls make the first move? By Minot Pettinato-Little
Sometimes, a lady just likes to be in charge.
She likes to ask for the phone number first, likes to make the move for the kiss first, and likes the adorably shocked, yet delighted look on her man’s face as she does so. For some women, the matter of making the move is an exertion of power or control over the given situation, while for others it’s simply a way to get from point A to point B.
Regardless of why she does it, the question here is: do men like it?
You’re really asking whether or not a guy likes the idea of a girl who lets him off the figurative hook of always having to ask her out first? Come on! The dating world is a frustrating neighborhood, and your neighbors can be identified easily: mind games, playing hot and cold, and push and pull. What kind of a man wouldn’t like to be let off and have the woman figure it out every once in a while?
Of course, there are obvious reasons why many men may feel uncomfortable with a woman being forward with what she wants, particularly if those men are the more traditional types.
Still, in short the answer is a whopping YES.
Most men love it. In fact, they might just encourage the act to the secret society of unsure women. They want to take some of the pressure off of themselves for once, not having to worry about making the first call, text, hangout or date arrangement.
Why do men like it when women make the first move?
If you’re a woman who’s wondering if making the first move would earn you brownie points, here are some of the top reasons.
#1 Low pressure lady. One of the main reasons men like it is that it takes the pressure off. One wonders, if all women had to make the choices that traditional men make at the beginnings of relationships – would men be asked out at all? Anyone who’s ever had a crush knows the painstaking effort it can take to reveal your true feelings when you don’t know if they’re reciprocated.
Men like not having to worry about the responsibility of making the first move, plus the worry and awkwardness that comes along with it. So if you’re looking to make the first move, why not just go for it?
#2 Shy boys love bold women. Some men are just downright shy, and the thought of a girl making all the moves and initiating all the action may be just what the doctor ordered. These guys will feel at ease with a take-charge woman and will be more than happy to watch you make all the moves.
#3 Confidence is sexy. You taking charge with your firstmoves will tantalize him, making him wonder what your sex moves are going to be like. Men love confidence in women. To them, there’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go out there and get it.
To men, a confident girl is a self sufficient, non-clingy, independent decision maker. She’s courageous, fearless and fabulous.
But despite these big reasons, of course, there may still be guys who aren’t into the whole take-charge attitude.
Why don’t some men like it when women make the first move?
Despite how fabulous you feel being a take-charge woman, there are some men out there who find the act of the woman making the first move a little odd. While some women may find this a little 1950s, these men have their reasons, too.
#1 It’s not very ladylike. Men usually seem more comfortable with women initiating the first sexual move, but not the emotional ones, such as who makes the first date or the first restaurant pick. If you’ve made the first move physically on your new guy, you might feel empowered, but he might be wondering how many guys you’ve been with before him that’s made you so bold.
Basically, unfair as it is, by making the first physical move, unfortunately, you do risk the chance of coming off a bit as a slut, especially to guys who have suspicious and incredibly narrow minds.
#2 Intimidating and emasculating. On top of intimidating, some men might find this type of woman emasculating. If he’s expecting to ask you out, or initiate the first kiss, then he may be thrown off by your commanding choices. While it may seem like a problem a teenage boy should have, grown men have been known to run off and pout at this behavior.
You’ve stolen his balls, he thinks, and that may be a sign for things to come in the relationship… And that’s never a good sign for a man!
#3 He’s traditional. Traditional guys are the types who still open car doors for you, still like asking you out, and still believe that men are to be the instigators in relationships. Traditional guys may not be into your new world, strong woman feminism. That’s not to say these types of men should be attacked for their beliefs, nor does it mean that they hate women’s rights – it simply mean they were brought up in a more traditional sense and aren’t too sure how to handle your take-charge attitude.
Always keep in mind that just because you have a “leading lady” position, and your man likes it, doesn’t mean he should slack in taking charge. You work hard and you deserve to be swept off your feet, too.
So what if your potential man isn’t a fan of you making the first move? Screw him. In the end, you’re a strong woman who wants what she wants, and if you want to make the first move then grab life by the balls and go for it!