Motivating her to get up and do something may not be easy, but it’s not impossible. Here’s how you can give her a helping hand.
Hanging around lazy people is not exactly the most fun way to spend your time. This is further amplified when the laziest of the lot is your girlfriend. As much as you love her, there is no denying that you want her to look and feel her best, not just physically but emotionally as well. You know better than anyone else that a happy wife means a happy life, and there is no denying that you should be doing everything it takes to be happy in your relationship.
You may have broached this sensitive topic with her to no avail, or you may not have sufficient courage to tell her that she looks a little jiggly and is turning into a big couch potato. Either way, your relationship is not going to last if you do not do anything about it soon. You need to change, not just her attitude, but yours as well. Remember that you are her best friend, partner in crime and confidante, and if you are not going to give her a wakeup call and help her get on her feet, no one else is.
Whether it has to do with her shedding a few pounds, getting a job to contribute to the household, or just being active and enjoying life off the couch, I have listed down three suggestions per category on what you can do to encourage your lazy girlfriend to get off her ass.
Does she have too much work on her plate? Too busy with the kids and household? Is she just plain lazy? More often than not, it has to do with a lack of motivation, so here are some things you can do to get her excited about moving her butt.
#1 Join an activity together. If she is one of the millions of people out there who hates exercising, you have to know how to make it fun for her. I recommend partaking in an activity together.
Tennis is a great option as it requires plenty of focus, not to mention running around the court. Squash and badminton are the same. You can also amp it up a notch, and sign up for dancing classes or Zumba. Hiking is also another pleasant activity that you can do together. The less the activity seems like exercise, the more inclined she will be to have fun and stick with it.
#2 Lead by example. Even if you have a freakish metabolism that allows you to consume a billion calories a day, yet remain stick thin, you need to lead by example, if you want her to make working out a habit. Start exercising with her.
If you exercise regularly, invite her to join you the next time you head for a jog or bike ride. Drag her along for your gym sessions or pop in a fitness DVD at home, and burn it off together. Celebrity fitness guru Jillian Michaels’ range of videos are excellent, and only require your woman to sacrifice 30 sweaty minutes a day. Head to YouTube, pick a series, and convince her to start today.
I recommend Yoga Meltdown to start with, as it requires no equipment, then move on to Ripped in 30 followed by more difficult regimens. Even if she presents you with a sour face, ignore it and power through.
#3 Make sex a cardiovascular workout. Anyone doing it right will tell you that sex is a workout. Instead of you doing all the work, how about getting her to move her ass the next time you are in the sack? Not only will she enjoy assertive positions and get what she wants in the bedroom, she will also burn an exorbitant amount of calories doing the deed.
Woman on top is a tried and true method, and so is the squat position. Browse through the web for ideas on what would work for both of you.
Getting a job
There are two groups of women who choose not to work. The first group enjoys the fact that their boyfriends or husbands bring home more than enough bacon, giving them the chance to live the life of luxury. The second group doesn’t work, because they simply do not want to. It does not matter which category your woman falls under. Here are some tips on how you can convince her to get a job.
#1 Talk about the future. There is nothing scarier than a future with insufficient funds. Let her know that no matter how hard you work to provide for the two of you, it will take way too long for you to reach your goals. Supporting someone else is not an easy feat, what more when you have kids, buy a house and car, start a savings plan and so on.
Tell her that she needs to contribute. If she does not, you are going to have to revise your life plans and move on with someone else who is willing to lend a hand. Do not bring this up in a threatening manner. Just let her know that if she wants to build a life with you, she needs to put on her hard hat and get moving.
#2 Stop giving her money. Perhaps one of the reasons why she does not want to work is because you provide her with a comfortable life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I applaud you for your generosity, but if you want her to get off her ass, you have to stem the cash flow.
Either slash her allowance, take away her credit card or give her a budget that is so minuscule that she has to supplement her income through working. If she throws a fit and threatens to leave, let her walk right on out. You deserve better than someone who takes advantage of you.
#3 Give her the “independent woman” talk. Tell her that she needs to live like Beyoncé, and take pride in the fact that she is an able-bodied woman who can earn her own living. Sell her the “independent woman” spiel, and cross your fingers that your motivational speech will get through to her.
You can also introduce her to high powered female colleagues and family members. Perhaps meeting and greeting women in power will motivate her to get off her ass and start job hunting. Send her articles and TED talks on powerful women changing the world, and she will catch your drift soon enough.
Let’s just hope that she does something about it. If all else fails, scare her a little and let her know that you may not be around forever and that life is short. She needs to be financially independent, in case things do not work out the way you both planned.
Being more social
Is your girlfriend a homebody? Does she prefer snuggling up to you on the couch instead of heading for tapas and wine with friends? As sweet as that may be, the two of you need to live it up while you can. Here are some things you can do to make her less of a social slouch and be more of a social butterfly.
#1 Host parties at home. If she is not a fan of crowded bars and loud restaurants, plan a night in with some friends. Organize a potluck, cocktail night or game night at home. This will give her the chance to socialize with close friends from the comfort of home, not to mention give her the chance to plan and prep for a fun night.
#2 Settle for every other weekend. A simple way to get her off her ass and out of the house is to compromise with her, and settle for an outing every other weekend. For example, she gets to pick what you guys do this weekend and you have no right to complain. Even if she wants to order takeout and chill with Netflix, let her plan the evening and enjoy every minute of it with her.
Next weekend, you get to decide what to do. Whether it is heading out clubbing with friends or taking a camping trip, this time around she is the one with no right to complain.
#3 Volunteer activities. One way to keep her active and social is to encourage her to volunteer. It could be at the local animal shelter or at a nonprofit organization. No matter what, encouraging her to lend a helping hand to others will motivate her to get out of the house.
For example, most AIDS foundations hold an annual AIDS Walk and other charity events to raise money. Find out what your community’s organization is planning for the upcoming year, and encourage your girlfriend to lend a hand to the cause.
Sometimes, you just need to serve it up straight.
If nothing else works, just be honest with her. If you think she needs to lose some weight, tell her how much you love her and want her to be healthy. Let her know that it is not about how she looks, but how she feels. If she combats your honesty by saying that she feels just fine, challenge her to get off her butt and prove to you that she can indeed feel much better than she currently does. Let her know that shedding the pounds and toning up is all part and parcel of leading a healthy and beautiful life.
If you want your girlfriend to get a job or just get out of the house, use the same tactic. Tell her that her couch potato ways are not doing her physical and mental health any good, and that she needs to start being more active, mentally and physically. Let her know that there is plenty of time for television and naps over the weekends. Life is too short to be steeped in regret and crappy TV shows.
Be as patient as you can when dealing with your woman. The last thing you want is to aggravate her. Women are renowned for having a stubborn streak, and you should know by now that if you are not delicate while broaching sensitive topics, you will incur her wrath. Whatever it is, do not lie to her and just be honest instead. She may fume at you for a while but will get over it in good time. Trust me on this.
Encouraging her to get out there and really start living her life may be difficult at first. Your lazy girlfriend may be averse to your suggestions. But when she comes around, you can be sure that her newfound motivation will improve your relationship.