Arguments are inevitable in any relationship. But here are 9 great ways to turn all that anger into passionate rage, and have angry sex the right way.
Make love not war.
At least that’s what they said.
However, it’s hard when you find out your girlfriend’s still communicating with her ex, or when your boyfriend ditched you on your date night for game day with the boys. Fighting and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship and no matter how much you love your partner, they are not perfect and neither are you. In a relationship that’s full of passion and a few differences, there’s bound to be a lot of arguments that will not only add spice to your relationship but, unfortunately, make it rocky at times too.
But it’s a good thing there’s something like mind-blowing make-up angry sex to make it ALL better!
How to have angry sex the right way
Can you really wipe that frown off her face just by giving her nookie? Or can you make him forgive you by making your bodies meet even if your beliefs do not? Here are a few great ways to perfect angry sex and turn things around from mad rage to passionate bliss in no time.
#1 Don’t use sex *or no sex* to get your way. Many people will use sex to get what they want from their partner. If they want something to get done, there’ll be something kinky and hot prepared in the bedroom. Alternatively, people will also withhold sex from their partner just so they can win the fight or to make their partner feel bad.
If you and your significant other are having a rough time, don’t use sex to get back at each other. Make it more of an emotional reconnection instead, to remind you that there is still something about your relationship that is worth fighting for.
#2 Be aroused by your anger. The adrenaline rush you get from arguing with your partner can be turned into something more carnal. In fact, this adrenaline rush from fighting is similar to the adrenaline rush you get when you are aroused. So why not turn the fight into something you will both physically enjoy even when you’re at odds with each other?
To do this, avoid uttering harsh words that will further draw your partner away. Instead, find the erotic possibilities of this energy. Let that sexual energy take the lead and let yourself be turned on by your partner’s tensed muscles and flushed skin. Draw your partner close to you and kiss those angry pouts away.
#3 Start sure but slow. Just because you’re angry and your emotions are high doesn’t mean you should jump the gun and have sex with your partner even if he or she doesn’t want to. That can actually lead you to more trouble. Instead, go slow and look for signs that your partner will be receptive to your sexual advances even in the heat of the moment.
Touch the hand, stroke the arms, or draw your lips closer to test the waters while you diffuse the situation just enough for you to make your move. If your partner kisses you back, even if angrily, well, it’s on for angry sex which could give you both the best orgasms ever!
#4 Play hard to get. Another trick in the book of angry sex is to play hard to get if you are on the receiving end of all the wooing. You’re mad at your partner. Of course, you’re not going to put out so easily. However, you know you’re feeling the sexual tension too. So aside from giving in too easily and making your partner think you’re letting the faux pas pass, make your partner work hard for your touch and affection. This not only teaches your partner that you are not that easy to appease when you are slighted, it also heightens the anticipation of the sexual act itself, therefore making it more intense.
#5 Be assertive. Once you get started and all that angry energy is being transformed into sexual energy and arousal, this is the time when you should make your move. Your partner may be confused by the sudden change in the atmosphere so it’s all up to you.
Take your partner right there and then, or strip each other as you nudge your partner towards the bedroom. Whatever it is, be quick and assertive enough so your partner will not have second thoughts about the deed you are going to do.
#6 Don’t overdo it. Angry make up sex can give you an opportunity to finally re-enact that Mr. and Mrs. Smith moment you’ve always wanted to try. However, those moves are meant for the movies and everything in real life must be done and enjoyed in moderation. Be careful not to let your anger take the lead or else you may end up hurting each other and the sex won’t be as pleasurable, in fact, it can lead to disaster.
#7 Reconnect, not repress. Don’t use angry sex to put your issues aside. It might just be a break, but you know you have to face the music afterwards. And if you repress the issue just so you can have a great lay, the problem is still out there and may turn up again later on, with greater intensity.
Still, make the most of your intimate moments even with angry sex. You can use this constructively to not only let out those pent-up frustrations but to even reassert your feelings and stance in the relationship.
#8 Don’t bring up the fight mid-hump. Don’t ever EVER bring up anything related to your fight in the middle of your romp. There’s nothing that can turn off your partner than a reminder of your sins while in the throes of passion. Also, make sure you do not get too personal with your dirty talking else you may end up having to nurse your unconsummated lust.
If you have a grievance or even just a suspicion you want to air, choose a right time for that when your head is clear and you are not in the heat of the moment. Besides, it might even be a better idea to bring up any problem once you bask in the glow of your post coital bliss, where problems don’t seem like much of a big deal compared to the orgasm you gave each other.
#9 Get your BDSM skills into play. Another great way to make angry sex even more exciting is to role play. What better way for you to play the dominant and put all your frustrations and anger into your role?
Punish your partner’s relationship boo-boo with a sexy slap in the bum using a sex whip. Better yet, act out a naughty student and a strict teacher scenario, or that of a police officer and a felon, and turn all your angry energy into believable sexual role play that will end up in a happily ever after.
Angry sex is healthy, but not if you don’t find closure
Angry sex is meant to divert what could be frustrated and negative energy into something sexual, productive, and healing. It should serve as a reminder of what attracted the two of you to each other, and to reignite the flames of love and passion, replacing the fire of anger and resentment.
A healthy outlet for any romantic relationship, angry sex can help reaffirm your love for each other, which should go beyond your petty fights and be more enduring than any difference in opinion. It can even help you become closer to each other instead of getting torn apart by your misunderstandings.
The important thing to keep in mind is that you should stay within the boundaries of responsible and loving lovemaking instead of violently channeling your emotions to your partner through your sexual act.
Done right, angry sex can further reignite your profound love for each other, especially if both of you talk about your problems after sex. But done wrong, it can tear your relationship apart with unfinished conflicts and horny excuses to avoid an argument.