Do you always blame others for your problems? Do you always feel like the world is out to get you? Here’s why your whole victim act needs to stop. By Charley Reid
No one wants to be the victim of cheating, of abuse, of the unwitting actions of other people. But surprisingly enough, playing the victim without actually being a victim is something a lot of people tend to do. They may do this for attention, for pity or just for the heck of it simply because they can get away with it.
If that’s you, and you think your life is fine and dandy by playing the victim, we’re about to prove you very, very wrong.
What playing the victim will do to you
Here are just some of the ways that putting up the whole victim front can make your life so much worse.
#1 You’re an energy vampire. If you are always putting out negative energy, you’re going to attract negative energy. No one wants to be around someone always complaining and talking about how life sucks. For example, if you meet a guy at a bar and he asks you how you are, he doesn’t actually mean he wants you to tell him every little thing currently wrong with you.
Have you ever been in a doctor’s office and overheard an old lady talking about all her problems? The difference between you and the old lady is that you’re not an old lady. She’s got real problems that she has to face. You, on the other hand, shouldn’t make it look like you’re carrying all the problems of the world on your shoulders… You’re not.
#2 You worry too much. The saying about worrying being like a rocking chair, because they both don’t get you anywhere is very, very true. Of course, bad things can happen in life, like car wrecks, robbery, even murder. But good things happen too! All the ups and downs in life are what make life exciting. Without the bad things, we wouldn’t appreciate the good.
If you’re always paranoid and worried about things, you’re basically wasting all the time you could be using having more good times. You can carry an umbrella all you want, but it doesn’t mean the weatherman will predict the weather correctly. If you’re always worrying trying to make sure you have control, you’ll never actually gain it.
#3 You are always jealous. There will always be someone prettier, richer, smarter, uglier, dumber, and whatever else than you. You should be happy that not everyone is the same, because if everyone were, life would be really boring. If you find yourself always getting annoyed, or wishing bad things about people, then you are a very jealous person that is pretty miserable and miserable to be around.
Being jealous only makes you more miserable because you’re spending so much of your time comparing yourself to others, and less time focusing on the great qualities you do have. If you find yourself getting jealous easily about the accomplishments of others, it’s important to ask yourself why, and to realize that only you are to blame for your unhappiness. You’ve turned yourself into your own jealous monster.
#4 You tend to find and create drama, drama, drama. Unhappy people tend to always have drama surrounding them, never taking responsibility for their actions, because life is evil and out to get them, always. If you are always talking about people, it should come as no surprise that those people will talk about you to people as well. You’re not someone that will be considered a good friend, if you’re talking negatively about your friends to other friends.
It’s a simple rule: treat others how you want to be treated. If you are treating your friends poorly, you will be treated poorly in return. This goes back to the whole negative energy idea. You get what you give.
If you’re always involved in some sort of drama, then you will continue to deal with very ridiculous problems and head-trips. When you decide to be the type of friend that you would want, only then will you start to live a drama-free life.
#5 You never want to do or even try anything. If you never want to go anywhere, or try new things, then you’re never going to go anywhere in life, literally. Happy people are those who wake up in the morning with goals, plans, determination and who fall 7 times and stand up 8. When you’re a happy person, you appreciate a sunny day and everything it has to offer.
When you’re playing victim, you sleep all day when the sun is out shining, and complain about foot problems, or your back hurting, and go on and on about how you wanted to work out but you “couldn’t.” You make excuses for everything and anything, because you don’t want to stare at the sun, even if you have to squint.
#6 You’re ungrateful. Victim-players are those who are never satisfied, and always find faults with things. For example, if it is your birthday and your boyfriend buys you a sweater, the normal and polite thing to do would be to say “thank you, I love it!” but instead victim-players say something more along the lines of “I didn’t want the pink one.”
Do you really think anyone wants to be around someone who is so ungrateful, unappreciative, and doesn’t grasp the concept that it’s the thought that counts? If you aren’t appreciative of anything, then you definitely don’t have the ability to appreciate the life you’ve been given.
#7 You are consumed with what once was. If you are someone who is always talking about how awesome you were in high school, or how you used to be really skinny, or anything associated with your past and your “once was,” then you will never move forward and find true happiness.
Living in the past means you can’t really live, but more so that you don’t want to accept the life you’re currently living. What you should realize is that life changes, and just because you may not be where you want to be, doesn’t mean that you can’t and won’t. Only you have control over yourself and the life you want to live.
Think about how stupid adults look when they are constantly talking about how awesome they were in high school, and how they still refer to their high school clique as the “Fab 5.” It’s pretty ridiculous when all they want to talk about are their glory days and that times are so much more boring these days.
It’s fine if you reminisce from time to time with your friends about high school and college, but if you tend to find yourself being the only one ever talking about your glory days, you’re going to eventually find yourself sitting alone not talking to anyone.
People with real problems don’t run around always talking about them, because they know that life is worth living, no matter the circumstances, and they figure out how to live theirs the way they want to.
Playing the role of the victim of circumstances only serves to stop you from living a life that you have control of. You can’t always have a 100% in-control, carefree life. But you have to get out there and actually do something with your life!