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15 Steps to Take if You Keep Saying, “I Hate My Family”

Sometimes we have disagreements with our families that make us say, “I hate my family,” even if we don’t mean it. If this is you, here’s what to do.

I think we can all relate to disliking our family members. And while this is completely normal, it also makes you have very little patience with them. As a result, you get in more arguments and disagreements than you would with anyone else.

Our family is also a lot like us. When you are surrounded with people who are really similar to you, you can bump heads a lot. I know this may seem like it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s very true. No matter what, though, you should never feel like you hate your family.

Your family really isn’t all that bad

Okay, now some families are probably super, super terrible. However, the majority of the time, your family isn’t acting any different than average. Most of us may think our families are being horrible, when in reality, they’re just looking out for us.

We might even disagree with them to the point where it drives us to actually feel hatred toward them. The truth is, however, that it’s very difficult to REALLY hate your family members. They’re only acting the way they do out of love for you, and they’re trying to protect you.

What to do if you keep saying, “I hate my family”

If you feel like you truly hate your family and you find that you’re saying this over and over again, there are a few things you can do to change it. No, you can’t just run away or cut yourself off from them forever.

But if your family is there for you and just trying to do what’s best, you can’t keep thinking this way about them. So, if you find that you’re saying, “I hate my family” more than the average person, here’s what you should do.

#1 Solve the problem. Obviously if you’re feeling like you hate your family, there is a problem you’re facing with them that’s causing you to feel this way. You have to solve the problem before you can move on from that hatred. So, identify what this issue is, and try your best to find a solution.

#2 Talk to them. More than likely, the problem you need to fix is going to involve you speaking with your family about what’s going on. Now, this can be really difficult if you’re feeling really angry and upset, but you just have to push through.

Go to them and tell them how you’re feeling. Maybe they don’t even know how upset you are! By getting your feelings out there, it could help solve what’s going on so you no longer feel like you hate them.

#3 Talk to someone else. If you’re too angry or upset to talk to your family members about what’s going on, talk to your friends about it. This is also a great way to see if you’re just overreacting or if you’re justified in feeling hatred toward them. Your friends may also have experience with this problem and can help you through it. 

#4 Put yourself in their shoes. If you really feel like you hate your family because they’re being unfair or treating you in a way that is upsetting you, put yourself in their shoes.

What would you do in this situation? You may realize that they have a reason for acting this way, and you would be doing the very same things they are.

#5 Assess your own behavior. Are you really acting fairly? Is your hatred actually justified, or are you acting a little immature and silly? Many of us have a tendency to overreact to things that we feel are unfair or that surprise us.

Think over your actions and ask yourself if you would be taken aback if someone else in your situation was to act that way. This can help you realize that your family doesn’t deserve your hatred and you’re just acting out.

#6 Be realistic. If the problem you’re facing has you hating your family, you have to think realistically. Is it really fair for you to be hating them in your current situation? Is it even realistic that whatever they’re doing should cause you to hate them?

#7 Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Saying that you hate your family can cause damage that is REALLY difficult to undo if it really hurts your family. If you really, truly are feeling hatred toward your family, then something is wrong and has to be fixed.

But if you’re just mad at them and saying you hate them because you don’t know what else to say, stop. You don’t hate your family. You’re just upset.

#8 Talk to a professional. Sometimes only professional help can get you to realize that maybe you don’t hate your family. And maybe only a therapist can solve the problem that your family is facing. Don’t be afraid to get professional advice when it comes to your family.

#9 Have family counseling. Instead of just going to a professional yourself, get the whole family to go. There are times when you and your family aren’t seeing eye to eye, and it takes a psychologist to help your family to see just how you’re feeling in order to get past the feelings of hatred.

#10 Make a list of the great things about them. If you start feeling like you hate your family, stop yourself right there and go grab a notebook. Write down 3 things about each family member that you like about them and that are great. This can help ease those negative thoughts and help you realize that you don’t actually hate them.

#11 Take some time to yourself. Maybe you’re just spending too much time around your family. Too much of anyone can cause even the nicest person to start thinking in a negative way. Go take a walk, hide in your room, and just be alone so you don’t get sick of them so easily.

#12 Stay with a different relative for a while. If it gets to the point that you’re unhappy living under the same roof as your family and you can’t stop saying, “I hate my family,” then you should retreat to someone else’s house for a while. Go spend some time with a new relative to calm down.

#13 Reduce your stress. Stress can make even the most positive people feel hatred toward someone who sets them off. Make sure you’re regularly doing activities that reduce your stress level. Exercise, take a walk in nature, listen to music, or do whatever it is that makes you feel calm.

#14 Write your feelings about them in a journal. A stress-reducing technique that will help them most when you keep saying, “I hate my family,” is just writing down those feeling in a notebook. Write down all your hatred and then throw it away.

Physically getting rid of those thoughts in the forms of words can help clear your head and put you in a positive mindset.

#15 Ask yourself what you’d do without them. Truly imagine your life without your family. Not very good, is it? No matter how upset we may get with them, and how much we think we hate them, we love our family. By doing this, you’ll see how much you really don’t hate them, and in fact, you need them.

Everyone goes through periods in their lives when they say, “I hate my family.” It’s a normal part of life. But if you say this more than the average person, these are some things to do about it.

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