Did you come across your date on a social network? So what next? Before you go friending your date on Facebook, keep these 14 dos and don’ts in mind!
A great date can be a promise of more to come.
And thanks to the internet, we no longer have to wait by our phones for our date to call us up!
But with the internet comes a specific set of guidelines that we all must abide by to avoid being labeled an online stalker.
It’s tempting to look through your date’s profile for little clues about what you can talk about on your next date.
It’s almost equally tempting to post pictures of you and your date to tell the world that you had a great time.
But is it the right time?
Would your date already be willing to show the world that he/she went out on a date with you?
And most important of all, would it do more harm than good?
The 14 big dos and don’ts of adding your date on Facebook
If you’ve spotted your date on Facebook and you’re not really sure what the proper course of action is, here’s our guide on the right things to do, and the wrong things to avoid doing!
#1 DO add him/her. What harm can it do? You’ve already had a great time in real life, so the virtual world is just a supplementary connection for both of you. Being each other’s friend on Facebook not only lets you in on the things you weren’t able to talk about during your date, but it can also be an alternate form of communication in case either of you aren’t at liberty to make a call.
#2 DON’T make a fake account for stalking. Do you have a paranoid side that makes you think that your date is posting things he/she doesn’t want you to see? You may either need to chill out or you may need to seek some professional help. Everyone has the right to some privacy, and if there are things your date doesn’t want you to see yet, you should respect that.
#3 DO check out their profile. What good is adding a person on Facebook if you’re not going to have a stroll through their latest posts and pictures?
Facebook is for social networking after all, so you might as well get the best out of the system and have a gander at what they’ve been up to. Who knows, you might find that their online profile speaks volumes more than their real-life presence. Getting to know their online presence would make for great material during your next date too.
#4 DON’T stalk too much. There’s a huge difference between casually browsing, and checking out each and every post, interaction, like, comment and activity done by your date in the past couple of years. Wouldn’t it be better to hear your date’s story in person than just deducing every minor detail from Facebook posts?
Another thing you should probably avoid is delving so far into your date’s online history that you accidentally ‘like’ a post from 2008! Not only do you fail at stealth, but you’ll also have to come up with an answer to “What the hell are you doing looking into my old posts?”
#5 DO like and comment on their posts. Leaving an insightful comment or hitting the like button shows appreciation and a desire to keep your connection going. It shows that you’re not just liking to get their attention, but you’re doing it because you actually have something to contribute to the post.
It can even lead to a friendly debate where you can uncover different sides of your personality. This works wonders for people who are much more comfortable with typing responses than saying them in person.
#6 DON’T dominate their entire page. Just because you like this person doesn’t mean you have to like every single thing they do online. Don’t be the person who leaves 99 notifications signifying that you’ve liked or commented on every single thing your date has posted since they joined Facebook!
#7 DO read through their posts. The great thing about Facebook is that anything can be shared, from what they had for breakfast to what movie they just watched. Posts that show what your date is currently up to can show you what their hobbies and interests are.
More material can also be found in the comments section as this shows you how they interacts with people they are friends with. Also, if your date mentioned someone during your date, you may find these people in the comments section and you can finally put a face to the name.
#8 DON’T stalk all the other people who interact with your date. Resist the urge to look through each and every person on his/her friends list to uncover his/her exes, close friends, colleagues or common friends. Your interaction with your date should suffice, and it’s never a good idea to go snooping around for potential “threats.”
If you’re the jealous type, you’re just giving your mind more fodder for paranoia. And considering you’ve just gone on a date, you shouldn’t be in a position to be jealous of other people anyway. Control yourself!
#9 DO leave a Facebook message. It’s okay to be shy about leaving a comment on their post, especially if you’re not sure what to say. In cases like this, you can just leave a message saying hi or telling them what you thought of their latest post. It doesn’t even matter if they are online when you leave a message as the point is to leave something insightful, and not necessarily to start off a conversation.
#10 DON’T leave nudie pictures. In an age where people’s online privacy can be breached with a clever new code, are you sure you want to be putting your private photos out there for others to see?
There have been so many instances where a person’s nude pictures have circulated the web and gone viral. In addition to that, you’ve only gone on a few dates. Are you sure you want to trust this new person with private photos of you? And even if you do trust your new “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, wouldn’t it be better if their first glimpse of your body is in person?
#11 DO be open minded about their posts. You can’t possibly expect to agree with everything he/she posts. There will be some things you won’t agree with, and they can be evident in his/her Facebook posts. For instance, you might learn that he/she would rather go to the gym than attend a concert you’ve been dying to go to. Don’t judge your date by this one activity alone. Give them the benefit of the doubt as this can lead to an interesting conversation on your next date.
#12 DON’T be their number one fan on Facebook. You know those people who always comment on your posts saying, “Yeah!” or “I totally agree!” or “LOLOLOLOLOL!!!”? Don’t be one of those annoying people who insist on leaving a not-so-insightful comment for the sake of leaving a comment. And don’t go even further overboard by sounding like an overly attached clingy girlfriend! You’re just dating, after all.
#13 DO give your date some privacy online. You’re still at that stage where you’re getting to know each other. You don’t need to know about every single thing that has happened in your date’s life before you met them. If there’s something you see online that your date would rather not talk about *e.g. an angry post from an ex, a drunk picture, etc.*, leave it be and respect their privacy. One day, if the time is right, then maybe you’ll learn the truth about what you’ve seen.
#14 DON’T pick a fight over what you see on Facebook. Relax! You’re not even a couple yet! You’ll just end up pushing this person away if you go all Sherlock Holmes and investigate everything.
Facebook can make or break a relationship. It can either be the medium that brings the both of you closer together, or it can be the cause of more friction between the two of you.
So before you friend your new date, use your better judgment. And remember the good do’s and avoid these crucial don’ts when you add your date on Facebook!