You may think that getting a divorce means giving up. But in reality, it can be the beginning of a better and more meaningful life ahead. By Geninna Ariton
If you can still remember a time when you were happy and truly feeling loved, then reconsider getting a divorce. Leaving behind someone whom you have promised a lifetime together is probably not the easiest thing to do. Especially if there are properties, businesses, and children involved.
But when things get out of hand, and no amount of hard work can seem to save your marriage, you always have the option of divorce. It may seem like a drastic step that can never be remedied, but there are actually a couple of good reasons why divorce should at least be considered. And it is okay, although acceptance may have to come later.
When is divorce the better option?
Doubtful about the instances where divorce is better than staying together? Here are some of those instances.
#1 When was the last time you smiled? Can you remember the last time you said to yourself, “I’m happy,” and really mean it? Having arguments and misunderstandings with someone that you have been living with for quite some time can be draining, especially because you live under the same roof with this person, and they are the first and last image that you view on a daily basis. This exhaustion is bound to reflect on your whole outlook in life, at work, toward your children.
You are not happy in your marriage and something or someone else is out there who will make you feel the opposite of what you are feeling now. You can and you will find this out for yourself only if you chose to leave.
#2 You can get rid of the chaos. Do you remember the last time when you had the chance to just sit down in front of the television and enjoy a good show, without thinking of what to prepare for dinner or worrying about your son’s behavior in class? Or how about the last time you enjoyed a bubble bath, without worrying about your husband reminding you of the chores you have not done yet? Or how about ample time to go to the gym or a weekend of fishing, without getting phone calls in between?
In the midst of all the chaos, a divorce will help you find time for yourself. Not only are you getting rid of a dysfunctional marriage, but you are also gaining time that you can use for the things that you failed to enjoy during your marriage.
#3 Saturday trips to the salon or to the golf course will be a weekly thing from then on. Pampering yourself without the guilty feeling is not going to be a dream anymore. Instead, it will be on that monthly calendar of yours. Getting off a marriage that does not allow you time for yourself is as good as a marriage that is going to crumble down.
Alone time is necessary for married couples, especially the ones who have been together longer. And when you can no longer enjoy these simple things, then perhaps it is really time for a divorce.
#4 Sometimes, the reason why a marriage is not working is because the other half of the party was not able to pursue a lifelong dream. Oftentimes, marriage disrupted a career plan, getting hitched interrupted achieving a higher degree, or carrying a baby in the womb for nine months was more important. Suddenly pursuing something else seemed trivial and the family came first.
Though I’m not saying you need a divorce to fulfill your dreams of getting a degree or traveling the world, but getting a divorce for an already crumbling marriage can finally allow you to pursue the dreams that were hindered by your marriage.
#5 Everybody thinks that there is only one person that is right for them. This does not seem to be the case anymore. When a marriage fails and everything falls apart, the individuals who were involved might think that there is no more future for them. But in fact, this is not true.
Life can surprise us in many ways. With the end of one relationship, a new relationship can develop. Do not be afraid to get back in the market after a marriage fails, whether or not you have kids. Sometimes, being divorced will bring out things in you that you have never discovered before, and this might attract new partners.
#6 Friends. Remember them? Did being married consume you so much that you forgot that there is life outside your marriage? You never got to spend ample time with your friends anymore, because of the different things in your marriage that constantly plagued your mind. The married life can do that and you will barely have time for anything else.
After getting a divorce, the perfect time to reconnect with your friends will be sooner rather than later. You never know, one of those people whom you’ve friendzoned in the past might help you find love again.
#7 Fast food meals seem to be the meals of choice. Or just lounging around the house in front of the television on a weekend is getting more and more common. You often find yourself totally exhausted on a weekend, so exhausted that you barely move. Everything from the stress of being in a marriage to the daily grind of making ends meet has made you unfit and unhealthy.
Perhaps after the divorce, you can start managing your health again and focus on the important things like taking care of your health through proper diet and exercise. Take care of yourself. Now that you are without a partner, you also need to think about becoming attractive again, especially if you want to ramp up your self-esteem, and potentially find someone new.
#8 There’s someone else. There may come a time when you find someone who may be able to give you what your spouse cannot. Instead of going down the infidelity route, you can gain the moral high ground by asking for a divorce. When it comes down to it, wouldn’t it be better to get a divorce and say that your marriage ended on amicable terms, instead of cheating, ruining your marriage and getting a divorce for your transgression anyway?
#9 Freedom. Even if your spouse allowed you enough freedom to do what you like, the freedom from a marriage that’s holding you down is much, much sweeter. You no longer answer to anyone, except perhaps your kids, and you no longer need to consult your spouse when it comes to making bigger decisions. You can regain your independence and take on the world with your newfound freedom!
Getting a divorce is inevitable if the marriage has been nothing but a burden to carry and is continuously making you miserable. If you fail to remember the last time that you were happy with your spouse, then think for a while if this is still the right partnership for you.
It is difficult for some couples to even accept the idea of divorce, so they will attempt to repair their marriage through counseling or getting some time off, but if all means have been exhausted, then divorce should not be treated as a taboo but as a celebration of differences.