FAQs

Overview
How does the site work?
How easy is it to join?
Do you use fake profiles?

Contact features
How do I search?
How do I send a Flirt?
How do I see who has Flirted me?
How do I add someone to my Favourites?
How do I see who has made me a Favourite?
How do I see who has Viewed my profile?
How do I set up my own Quiz?
How do I see who has answered my Quiz?
How do I answer a Quiz?

Messages
How do I send a message?
How do I read a received message?
Can I recover a deleted email?
I was told I had a message but I can't see it?
Why do messages sometimes disappear?
How do I stop email alerts for new messages?
How do I block a member?
How do I send an e-Card?
How do I read a received e-Card?

Instant Messaging (IM)
How do I IM someone?
How do I respond to an IM request?
I'm online but I'm not available for IM
How do I dismiss a request to IM?
How do I block a member during IM?

Profile
How do I edit my profile?
How do I delete my profile?
Why should I create a full profile?
How do I view my own profile?
I made a change to my Profile but it was removed?
Why was my Profile deleted?
How do I hide my profile?
What is My Friends Say?
How do I upload something to My Friends Say?

Photos
Should I upload a photo?
How do I upload a Main photo?
How do I upload a Library photo?
What is the difference between Main and Library photos?
What do you look for in a Main photo?
What is allowed in Library photos?
Why was one of my photos rejected?

Misc
What kind of technical support can I get?
I can't login?
How secure is the site?
How do I flag someone scamming/soliciting?
Complaints
I met my partner here & I'd like say thanks.
Our Admin team are here to help!

Upgrading
What is Super-Platinum (SP)?
Plat > SP Upgrade refund.
What shows up on my statement?
What is automatic renewal?
How easy is it to cancel my Platinum/SP membership?
How much does it cost?

 

Overview

How does the site work?
The site provides a safe and secure way to find, meet and date people. You choose a username and set up a profile describing yourself and the type of person you're hoping to meet. You can also upload a Main photo which will always be visible or Library photos which can be locked. You can then view other member's profiles by searching the site and remember they will also be looking at yours.

To begin with, before making direct contact, you can Flirt with someone you like, add them to your Favourites which lets them know you're interested and also you can answer their Quiz. The next stage would be more direct contact shch as an e-Card, Message or best of all - Instant Message (IM) them.

After a period of time you'll usually then want to exchange your private contact details in order to take the next step and meet up in person.

How easy is it to join?
Rather than some places that ask for pages of information before you can get a feel for the site, our philosophy is to ask for only a few basic details so that you we can 'get you going' as quickly as possible. We feel that once you've been on the site and seen how good it is, then you'll only be too happy to go back and add a bit more to your profile as a first step in increasing your chances of meeting your perfect match.

Profile ‘building’ is monitored to ensure that new members are ‘real’ and are on the site to meet other members and, equally importantly, they are the sort of people that existing members on the site will want to meet themselves.

Do you use fake profiles?
We firmly believe in quality of membership and not quantity. Quality in this case equates to real profiles. We do not post fake profiles to boost our figures. We are however under constant attack from scammers who do try to post fake profiles and then contact members. This is an industry wide problem. We do our very best to limit them however the odd one does sometimes get through. As an extra level of security, we do ask our membership to immediately report ‘scam’ messages that are sent to them from within the site. Your help here is much appreciated.

 

Contact features

How do I search?
After entering the site for the first time through the FrontPage, the starting point for every subsequent visit is the Search page. The default search filters are set to show members of the opposite sex living within 50 miles of your registered postcode. The age is set at a wide 18-60. All these variables, including postcode, can be changed for a new search. For more advanced search options, look at the middle and bottom sections on the left side of the search results page. In the middle you can set a number of personal traits that you might be looking for and in the bottom you can target a town or keyword that might appear in their profile. You can also search for a specific member via their username. At the bottom of each Profile box there are four function icons. The first three are action icons and the last is an Online/Offline light: [Send Message] [Send a Flirt] [Send an e-Card] [Online Indicator]

How do I send a Flirt?
When you view that member’s Profile you will see a heart icon with 'Send Flirt' next to it in the Actions Menu beside the profile photo. Click on the text link to send the Flirt. This is like saying hi to another member that you like the look of without actually contacting them directly. You can also send a Flirt from the Search results page. Just click on the Flirt icon in the bottom part of the Profile summary box.

How do I see who has Flirted me?
If you see a number under Flirts in the Blue Bar then someone has sent you a Flirt. Click to see who it is. Click on 'Flirts Sent' at the top right to see those members that you yourself have sent Flirts to.

How do I add someone to my Favourites?
When you view that member's profile you'll see a green tick icon with 'Add to Favourites’ next to it in the Actions Menu beside the profile photo. Click on the text link to add this member to your Favourites. This person will know that you've added them to your list so it's actually another way of flirting as they can see that you're interested in them but haven’t yet made direct contact. This will usually make them have a look at your profile.

How do I see who has made me a Favourite?
If you see a number under Favourites in the Blue Bar then someone has added you to their Favourites list. Click to see who it is. Click on ‘My Hotlist’ at the top right to see who you've added as Favourites.

How do I see who has Viewed my profile?
If you see a number under Views in the Blue Bar then someone has been checking out your Profile. Click to see who it is. Click on ‘People who I’ve viewed’ at the top right to see those profiles you've looked at.

How do I set up my own Quiz?
Another way that someone might let you know they’re interested in you without contacting you directly is to answer your Quiz. The default setting for the Quiz is 5 pre-loaded questions. You may however decide, as many members do, to put together your own quiz. To do this click on the My Profile tab and then Quiz. You can either write your own questions or choose from our database and then click Add. There's a limit of 20 Questions and you are free to delete the first five pre-installed questions if you don’t want to use them. You can hide your Quiz anytime by clicking on ‘Hide Quiz’ once it's live or just delete all the questions. Question content displayed here is monitored by Admin and is the responsibility of the member posting it. Profiles will be deleted if the site’s Terms & Conditions are broken.

How do I see who has answered my Quiz?
If you see a number under Quiz in the Blue Bar then someone has replied to your Quiz. Click to see who it is and what their answers are. Click on ‘Answers sent’ at the top right to see those that you’ve replied to.

How do I answer a Quiz?
When you view that member’s profile you will see a building icon with ‘Take my Quiz’ next to it in the Actions Menu beside the profile photo. Click on the text link to open up the Quiz.

 

Messages

How do I send a Message?
When you view that member’s profile you will see an envelope icon with 'Send message' next to it in the Actions Menu beside the profile photo. Click on the text link to open up the Message box. If you're a Standard member you’ll be asked to Upgrade to carry on with sending the Message. You can also send a Message from the Search results page. Just click on the Message icon in the bottom part of the Profile summary box.

How do I read a received message?
If you see a number under Messages in the Blue Bar then someone has sent you a message. Click to read the message. If you are a Standard member, and the sender is Platinum, you'll be asked to Upgrade to read the message. If the sender is Super-Platinum then you'll be able to open the message without Upgrading.

New messages, either a new string or a reply within an existing string, will be shown as an envelope with a yellow exclamation mark. Once read, the icon will change to an opened envelope and the new message count will be reduced by one. To reply, simply enter text in the box above the message and click on Send Message. To read sent messages, click on the 'View sent messages' at the top right.

Can I recover a deleted email?
To protect the privacy of our members, deletion is permanent so a message cannot be recovered once deleted.

I was told I had a message but I can't see it?
This is because the member who sent you the message has since left the site. Being a dynamic site members often match up very quickly and leave the site. When a member leaves, to protect their privacy, all messages and data associated with that member is automatically deleted along with their profile. You may therefore have had an email alert about a new message but by the time you get to your inbox, there is nothing there.

This is also the case with scammers who may have gained access to the site and managed to send off a few messages to some of the members. As soon as they are caught their Profiles/Messages are deleted but you may unfortunately already have had an alert.

Why do messages sometimes disappear?
When a member leaves the site and their Profile is deleted then, in order to protect their privacy, everything associated with that Profile such as Messages are automatically deleted. This means that any Messages that you have from this member will disappear. In similar fashion, when you decide to leave, then everything connecting you with the site will be removed. If you feel that you want to keep a record of a particular message string then we suggest that you print it out.

How do I stop email alerts for new messages?
Go to the My Profile tab and click on 'My Account'. You can cancel all the different types of alerts there.

How do I block a member?
You can block a member by clicking on Messages on the Blue Bar and then on the Block Member icon next to the message. It's the upper body with the red x. That member will not be able to contact you again. If the problem is serious then we ask that you report it to us in addition to using the Message block. Just blocking someone who has caused you a serious problem could mean that he/she will just continue doing the same thing with other members. Please however bear in mind that, as explained more detail in our Terms & Conditions, we will not get involved in emotional disputes between two dating parties.

To unblock, simply do the reverse.

How do I send an e-Card?
When you view another member's profile you will see a white star on a blue square icon with 'Send e-Card’ next to it in the Actions Menu next to the profile photo. Click on the text link to start the process. If you are a Standard member you’ll be asked to Upgrade to actually send the card. Although most e-Cards carry a message, you'll be able to add your own words just before you click send. You can also send an e-Card from the Search results page. Just click on the e-Card icon in the bottom part of the Profile summary box.

How do I read a received e-Card?
If you see a number under e-Cards in the Blue Bar then someone has sent you a card. Click to read it. If you are a Standard Member, and the sender is Platinum, then you'll be asked to Upgrade to read the card. If the sender is Super-Platinum then you'll be able to open it without Upgrading. New e-Cards are shown as a white star on a blue box. Once read, the star disappears and the new message count will be reduced by one. To reply, simply enter text in the box above the message and click on Send Message. To read sent e-Cards, click on the 'View sent e-Cards’ at the top right.

 

Instant Messaging (IM)

How do I IM someone?
Assuming the person you want to IM is online (and they set their IM status to Available which most people do), then when you look at their Profile you’ll see the Green/Blue IM icon with ‘IM me’ next to it in the Actions Menu beside the profile photo. Click on the text link to start the process. If you're a Standard member you’ll be asked to Upgrade in order to continue.

If you want to see who’s online then make sure that the Sort By dropdown box in Search is showing ‘Last Login’ and not the default ‘Photos First’.

How do I respond to an IM request?
If the IM dialogue box appears then someone is trying to make contact with you. If you're a Standard member, and the sender is Platinum, then you'll be asked to Upgrade to continue. If the other person is Super-Platinum then you’ll be able to IM with them without Upgrading.

I'm online but I'm not available for IM.
Once you have logged in, you will see at the top middle of any page a 'My IM Status' section with either a Green/Blue [Available] or a Grey/Grey [not-Available] icon. Click on the icon to change from one status to the other to reflect whether or not you want to take IM calls.

How do I dismiss a request to IM?
If you decide that, for whatever reason, you don't want to IM with another member who has just contacted you then all you have to do is click on the ‘thumbs down’ icon at the top right of the dialogue box and the other person will be sent an automatic IM saying [Request to IM not accepted]. Please be aware that you haven't blocked them, you've simply said that you don't want to IM at this present time. The other person will be unable to contact you again while you are online but will be able to the next time you are both onsite at the same time.

How do I block a member during IM?
You can block a member by clicking on the red circle with the diagonal red line through it at the top right of the IM dialogue box. That member will not be able to IM you again and they are sent an IM saying [This member has now blocked you]. If the problem is serious then we ask that you report it to us as well as using the IM bar. Just blocking someone who has caused you a serious problem could mean that he/she will just continue doing the same thing with other members. Please however bear in mind that, as explained more detail in our Terms & Conditions, we will not get involved in emotional disputes between two dating parties.

To unblock, you need to go to their profile (when they are online) and click on the 'Unblock IM' link.

 

Profile

How do I edit my profile?
Click on the My Profile tab to land on the default ‘Edit Profile’ page. Here you can add to you Profile or make changes. These edits are uploaded automatically but they are also flagged to Admin who check to ensure that they don't break the Terms & Conditions of the site. Remember to save your changes. Completed Profiles (all lights at the top turn green) are shown first in Search results. There are 4 sections (sets of lights) including the photo but the bottom two areas (in blue) are optional and therefore not included.

You can also choose whether or not your Profile summary box in Search results is highlighted on your birthday via a tick box.

How do I delete my profile?
Click on the My Profile tab and then the ‘My Account’ link under it. The Delete Account button is at the bottom of the page. Please remember that once you decide to delete, you will immediately loose access to all the data associated with your account such as stored Messages. You cannot reopen a deleted account and more importantly, the data cannot be retrieved at a later date. You can of course start again and open another new account. If you are a paying member then this will cancel future payments as well as remove your profile immediately.

Why should I create a full profile?
We try to make joining the site easy by asking for only for a few basic details at the start. Going back to your profile when you have time and filling it out properly is the first step on the road to making you look 'attractive' to other members. It is the first impression that you make so it's worth spending a bit of time getting it right. People who leave their profile in the short form get next to no contacts and few replies if they send messages as people don’t trust an 'empty' profile. Let's face it, would you want to reply to someone with only a few words in their profile? The more time you take in putting together a good profile, the greater your chances will be of making contact with someone special.

How do I view my own profile?
To view your own profile, click on the My Profile tab and then the View Profile link under it.

I made a change to my Profile but it was removed?
All edits to your profile are monitored by Admin. In most cases where a change to the profile has broken our Terms & Conditions, the profile is deleted with no message being sent to the member. Very occasionally, if it's considered a minor infringement, the change will just be removed from the profile by Admin. Again no message is sent.

Why was my Profile deleted?
We reserve the right to delete any profile without prior notice that breaks the Terms & Conditions of the site. No message is sent to the member when this happens. Some of the more common reasons for Profile delition are:

1) Personal contact details such as email address or mobile number
2) Improper or offensive content be it sexual, religious or racial
3) Advertising or commercial messages promoting a business
4) Excessive number of words written in texting format

In addition, profiles will be deleted when members solicit for sex, use improper conduct against other members or instigate any kind of spamming/scamming. In extreme cases the Police will be contacted. To maintain members privacy when they leave, no records or other information are kept by Admin. This applies to both members who've left because they found a match and those who have had their profiles deleted by the site. This means that there is no point in contacting us if we’ve deleted your profile as we’ll have no record of it or the reason it was deleted.

How do I hide my profile?
To hide your profile, go to the My Profile tab and then the ‘My Account’ link under it. You will find the ‘Hide Profile’ button in the middle of the page. When you hide your profile, you can view profiles but yours can't be seen by other members. Please remember that you can’t send or receive messages and if you are a paying member then payments will continue in this mode.

What is My Friends Say?
When you view another member’s profile you will see a piece of paper icon with ‘My Friends Say’ next to it in the Actions Menu beside the profile photo. Click on the text link to open up the Friends Say page. This show messages or feedback about you from your friends/family/colleagues that you've posted.

How do I upload something to My Friends Say?
Click on the My Profile tab and then the ‘Friends Say’ link under it. Ask someone that you know to write a few lines about you and copy this into the ‘Friends Say’ box. Put in their first name and relationship to you and then click on the Upload button to have it linked to your profile. 80% of the most visited profiles on the site are those with 2 or more ‘My friends Say’ comments. Content displayed here is monitored by Admin and is the responsibility of the member posting it. Profiles are deleted if the site’s Terms & Conditions are broken.

 

Photos

Should I upload a photo?
This is probably the most important step in putting together a good and attractive profile. You are 7 times more likely to be contacted by someone when you do this as the majority of people these days only look at 'profiles with photos'. Even if you don't want to put up a Main photo, having photos in your Library lends your profile a lot more creditability even if they are locked. It shows that you are prepared to show yourself to the right person.

How do I upload a Main photo?
Click on My Photos tab and then the Main photo Browse button to find the photo on your computer that you want to upload. Double click on that photo and then the Select Photo button. In the case of Main photo (as opposed to Library photos), you are offered an opportunity to edit the photo (resizing and cropping) before clicking on Upload Photo. You can of course just go with the default upload setting and click Upload Photo straight away without editing.

If you add a new photo to Main photo and there's already a photo there, then the existing Main photo will be replaced.

How do I upload Library Photos?
Click on My Photos tab and then the Library photos Browse button to find the photo on your computer that you want to upload. Double click on that photo and then the Upload Photo button to upload the photo to your Library. Library photos cannot be seen by Standard members. They can also be locked so you can decide who is allowed to see them. There is a limit of 10 photos in the Library.

What is the difference between Main and Library photos?
Your Main photo is the one attached to your profile and is also the one seen in other members search results. Remember that a lot of other members use the 'photos first' filter when they search so not having a Main photo means that you'll be a long way down in their search results list. In the Library photos section, you can then have up to 10 photos that can only be seen by Platinum/SP members. You can even go one step further and lock these photos and only give out the combination to someone who you feel comfortable with showing them to. This is a great chance to show people what you're really like in terms of things you like doing, places you like visiting etc. It adds more to your story by showing more of your own personal world.

What do you look for in a Main photo?
This is your most important photo as it's attached to your profile. It must be a clear shot of your head and shoulders where your facial features are easily recognisable. We do not allow Main photos to include other people such as friends and kids. We also do not allow editing of photos. Just imagine something along the lines of a passport photo. Please be aware that all photos are vetted by Admin before being released.

What is allowed in Library photos?
What is and is not acceptable is basically common sense and anything approaching borderline will be rejected. Our ‘Terms & Conditions’ give a complete list of what is not acceptable however the main area of concern are copyrighted photos such as celebrity shots or cartoons. Nudity is naturally a 'no'. Again it’s common sense. Please be aware that all Library photos are vetted by Admin before being released.

Why was one of my photos rejected?
All new photos are checked in Admin. If a photo is rejected by Admin then it is simply deleted from your Main/Library photo sections and no email is sent informing you of this. We don't keep a record of why it was deleted so please don't mail us asking what the reason was. We find in all honesty that 99% of the time it's fairly obvious. In the case of a photo that seriously breaks this site's Terms & Conditions then the profile associated with it will be deleted.

 

Misc

What kind of technical support can I get?
Please email our office with any problems or questions that you might have. We work normal office hours Mon - Fri and always ensure that there are some staff in over the weekend and holidays.

I can't login?
1) You might be using the wrong password. Use the 'forgot password?' link on the Homepage and we'll email you with instructions on how to set a new password for your account.

2) You might be using the wrong email address. From a security point of view we will not release an email to someone who has 'forgotten' theirs. It could be a completely genuine case of forgetting the details however there is always the chance that someone else is trying to access that account. To repeat again, in order to protect the privacy of our members, we will not be able to help anyone who has forgotten their email address. There are no exceptions to this. If you are a Platinum member then your account will be closed and your outstanding days refunded so that you don't waste money on a profile that you can no longer access. 

3) Your profile has been deleted by Admin because it broke our Terms & Conditions. To maintain members privacy when they leave, no records or other information is kept by Admin. This applies to both members who've left because they found a match and those who have had their profiles deleted by the site. This means that there is no point in contacting us if we’ve deleted your profile as we’ll have no record of it nor the reason why it was deleted.

How secure is the site?
We take privacy and security very seriously and employ the best technology available to ensure this happens. Our email service allows you to communicate with other members without ever knowing each others real email addresses. Naturally, we would never under any circumstances give out your personal details such as your email address to other members or a third party. On the financial front, you deal directly with our payment provider SagePay when you hand over your Credit Card details to Upgrade so we have no access to them nor do we keep a record on our side. For full details please review our Privacy Policy.

How do I flag someone scamming/soliciting?
In order to keep the site safe and secure, we urge our members to contact us about any sort of scamming for money or soliciting for sex that they might come across. Member’s details who report such transgressions are naturally kept in the strictest of confidences as you'd expect. Please email us if you think that a new message you've received looks suspicious and we’ll deal with the sender right away.

We try our best to stop these sort of people from getting onto the site but unfortunately they are often clever and persistent and some do get through. This is where our last line of defence comes in – you the membership, so please do help us build a stronger site together.

Complaints
Please feel free to contact us about any complaints that you might have about another member. We have a fairly strict code regarding member's behaviour, details of which can be seen in the site's Terms & Conditions which members agree to on joining the site. We have learnt over the years that dating can become an emotionally charged grey area and what to us might be considered a slight or bad manners could be regarded as something completely different, and more serious, by the offended party. The bottom line is that we have the final say in what we think constitutes behaviour that would constitute direct intervention by ourselves. Please also remember that, as per our site's Terms & Conditions, we don't get involved in emotional disputes between dating parties. We will however not tolerate any form of harassment.

I met my partner here and I'd like to say thanks.
Many members want to send us a thank you mail when things work out on the site. We do want to hear from you as it makes us feel that we have succeeded in doing what we are trying to do: simply bringing people together. We sometimes select a couple of sentences from such mails to display on the site as customer feedback. As you would expect, no names are attached to the feedback.

Our Admin team are here to help!
Please feel free to contact us about anything else that we might not have covered here. Just click on the Contact Us link at the bottom of each page and email us with your question or feedback.

 

Upgrading

What is Super-Platinum (SP)?
On most sites, if you are a Platinum member and you send a message to a Standard member, the Standard member is unable to read your mail and therefore can’t reply to it. Super-Platinum membership does away with this by allowing Standard members (just in this case) to read and reply to their mails/IMs/eCards. This means that if you are interested in someone then you don't have to worry if they're Standard or not as you know that your mail or other type of contact will always get through to them. If they don’t reply then you also know straight away that they’re not interested and you can move on to someone else.

Standard members therefore can communicate freely with an SP member who has instigated contact with them. There is no limit to the number of SP members that a Standard member might be in contact with.

Plat > SP Upgrade refund.
If you are already a Platinum Member and decide to upgrade to Super-Platinum, as many members do when they realise the benefits and you do it before the last day of your Platinum Membership, then we refund the outstanding period of that membership. For example, if you decide to upgrade to SP after being Platinum for 10 days then you'll be refunded for the outstanding 20 days that you've already paid for as Platinum. This is done automatically through SagePay.

What shows up on my statement?
We take payment through SagePay which is one of the 3 major internet payment providers in the UK. Our trading name 3MD will appear on your bill.

What is automatic renewal?
To avoid any disruption to your Platinum/SP access, subscriptions are renewed automatically when the payment period finishes. You can check when you'll be charged again by clicking the My Profile tab and then the ‘My Account’ link below it.

How easy is it to cancel my Platinum/SP membership?
Automatic renewal can be easily cancelled before the next renewal date by going to My Account and then click on either the ‘Delete Account’ button where your profile is immediately deleted and further billing is cancelled at the same time, or the ‘Cancel Subscription’ button. In this latter case, further billing is cancelled but your account will remain Platinum/SP till the end of your payment period at which point it will return to Standard membership.

How much does it cost?
There are two levels of Upgrade: Platinum and Super-Platinum. The present Upgrade fee for each level is displayed on the Upgrade page.